If you look up the components of a successful relationship, you’ll often see keywords like: communication, trust, honesty and a healthy, mutual sexual attraction. But, what if your relationship thrives on sex? They say sex alone won’t make for a lasting relationship, yet millennials are focusing on having a stronger sexual connection rather than great dialogue and compatibility. So, can a relationship that’s all about sex really work or is it just a intense hook up?
Millennials are taking matters into their own hands and throwing out the relationship rule book – especially when it comes to sex. Laura, 24, of Manhattan believes sex should be a priority. “[Sex] connects two people like nothing else can. To me, sex makes my partner and I closer. The bond is amazing and just the connection I get from it, I crave it.”
Like Laura, other millennials find that great sex can be the glue that holds a relationship together. However, it shouldn’t be the be all end all.
“I believe sex is very important in a relationship but your relationship shouldn’t be based on sex,” Whitney, 29, of Brooklyn said. “My fiancé and I are best friends. It’s a plus that we happen to have a great sexual connection but if it wasn’t as strong, I would still love him the same. I’m not with him for his penis!”
Yasmin, 27, of the Bronx agrees with Whitney, sharing that building a foundation should be the main focus in a relationship. “One day life and things will change and sex just will not seem as important. Yes, sex is important. Intimacy is important. FOR NOW. But what about when you are 50, 60, or even 70?” Well, if your not having sex later on in life, your marriage and relationship will suffer, much like Barbara’s, 31, of Queens, did.
“I used to feel [sex] wasn’t as important but then my marriage suffered and I realized it’s just as important as loyalty, respect, honesty and forgiveness.”
Susie seconds the motion and stated that in her relationship, “sex is one of the most important parts as that’s when I feel loved and close to my partner.”
So, although basing a relationship on a strong sexual connection can be risky, sexual compatibility is an important aspect of any relationship. As Ashlee, 26, of Staten Island, put it, what one needs sexually truly depends on the couple. “It’s different for everyone. I know a couple who barely has sex and are more than happy. Then there is my fiancé and I who jump each other’s bones every chance we get, and have been that way for 9 years. I don’t think there’s any right or wrong answer.”
There truly isn’t. In the end, do you – and your partner – as often as you wish.