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To Smile or Scream? Millennial Views on Uncircumcised Men

Turtleneck
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To Smile or Scream? Millennial Views on Uncircumcised Men

Cut or uncut? Millennial women dish on their preference.

Millennials are a generation known for their lax hook-up culture and acceptance of casual sex. So, millennial women should have a lot of experience coming in contact with various types of penises, right?Does this make us more accepting of different sizes, shapes and colors? Does every dick begin to look the same after our first belt has busted through every notch? But what’s a girl to do when she encounters her first head on collision with a penis wearing, well, it appears to be wearing a turtleneck? Do you smile or scream?

PLUS: The Parts of the Penis Women Really Care About

I was 21 years old the first time I came in contact with an uncut dick. I went home with a guy from a bar and had to break the unfortunate news that I was under the monthly vaginal curse and would have to please him with a hand job. He accepted my downgraded offer, and I began to go at it in his pitch-black bedroom. I never saw his penis but I swore I was holding on to an oversized sea slug. There was an overload of excess skin and I probably needed both hands to conquer that beast. It never occurred to me that his penis was uncut, until I called my best friend and described my encounter with the underwater sea creature.

The second time I experienced an uncut dick I looked at it, touched it, sucked it and fucked it, and never had the slightest clue he was uncircumcised. Apparently his penis was so hard that it disguised itself as its arch nemesis – the circumcised dick. I swear these penises have special anamorphic powers and can transform at the flick of a hand. Shape changing magicians, that’s what they are.

How do other millennial women feel about an uncircumcised penis? I asked some friends and they’re responses were absolutely amazing.

Millennial women love uncut penises because: 

1. They’re a pleasant surprise. You never know how big it will actually be!
2. They give a little extra tickle!
3. Au naturale, baby!
4. Fun to play with and sex lasts forever.
5. I enjoy them as long as they’re clean and taken care of properly.

Two of my friends responded, “Depends how drunk I am.”

MORE: Does Penis Size Really Matter?

Millennial women can’t get past uncircumcised penis’ doppelgangers because: 

1. It looks like a Sharpei dog!
2. It reminds me of one of those arm floaties you wear in the pool.
3. Definitely slug-like

In my opinion, as long as it gets the job done who’s to complain? What do you think?

Melissa is a writer from Long Beach, California who aims to bring out the humor and horror in modern-day dating. She believes there's no sugar-coating romance, and her writing brings out the raw reality of the millennial fight for normalcy in a virtual hook-up generation. When not poking fun at her numerous dating misfortunes, Melissa is often playing volleyball, attending concerts and cooking fantastic meals.

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