It is a magical moment, the first time a man tells a woman “I love you.” Cheeks glow and stomachs churn as if living in a romantic comedy. Finally, their partner or crush or the man who pushed them out of the way of a moving garbage truck said those three little words that mean so much. She can now express her love without fearing it won’t be reciprocated! She can introduce him to friends and family and co-workers and stop the game playing because…he…loves…her! Now they can live happily ever after…until she learns he said “I love you” by accident.
A recent Glamour Magazine study discovered that this is usually the case. Out of 1,000 men surveyed, 56 percent said the words just slipped out. You know, like they have Tourette’s Syndrome or something.13 percent were caught up in the heat of the moment (blame the Karma Sutra) while 23 percent blamed it on the alcohol (damn you, Jamie Foxx!).
So, if he’s reached climax and yells, “I love you!” he is probably just loving the big O (doesn’t everyone?). If he chugged too much tequila and drunk dialed your number, his love filled slur is just a slur filled with tequila breath. He probably whispered, “I love you,” to his bros, the bartender and the bathroom attendant that pumps hand soap. As for those who just let it slip, why not let something else slip?
I hate your penis.
Then watch as his cheeks glow and stomach churns from embarrassment, as if he were living in a romantic tragedy.