You’ve probably been a victim of a game player. The type of guy who drives you crazy because he’s impossible to read. There’s a disconnect between what he says and what he does; he can take forever to message you back and is often unavailable; and you’re constantly trying to figure out how he feels and where you stand.
To sum it up: game-players make the dating game exhausting and stressful.
Games are often used as a defense mechanism when we don’t trust someone, or feel there’s an imbalance in feelings (emotional inequity). We naturally feel the need to protect ourselves, play games, and stay on the periphery. Thankfully, things change when you meet the guy. His feelings will be blatantly clear, and the relationship will materialize because he likes you as much as you like him (emotional equity). And then some. Here’s why games disappear when you meet “Mr. Right.”
Mr. Right won’t play games to begin with.
Guys tend to fall in love a lot faster than women do. So when a guy really likes you, he will set a clear precedence during courtship that doesn’t involve game-playing. He’ll be eager to see you and will make you a priority. He’ll court you like a gentleman and do things the right way because he knows you’re worth it. A guy acts differently and operates under a different set of rules when he considers a girl “relationship material” versus someone he just wants to hook up with and add to his roster of side-chicks.
You’ll be so excited that you’ll break all the rules.
It’s easy to play by the rules when you don’t really care. When you actually like someone, every “play it cool bone” in your body crumbles. You text them too often; your messages are too long; you confess your feelings; say “I love you” too soon; and have a near panic attack every time he doesn’t message you back right away. You skip steps and things move way too fast. Basically, you become inherently insecure. When you’re dating “Mr Right” your reckless behavior isn’t going to matter because he’s breaking all the rules right along with you — all cheeseball, doughy-eyed, teenage-like, falling head-over-heels like a love struck possum.
Neither of you will care about having the power.
The general rule of thumb in dating: the less you care, the more power you have. But what good is power if it doesn’t fulfill you? You’re just powerful and alone, instead of powerless but with someone you care about. This is why people play games — to seek power, to grab the upper hand, and to hold the ball in their court. It’s a control thing for humans, as nobody likes to feel out-of-control. But when you like someone, and the feeling is understandably mutual, neither of you care about having power. You just want them. You just want to be happy. Powerless, but happy.
Games don’t have room to exist when you’re comfortable with someone.
When “Mr. Right” comes along, it’s going to feel like you’ve known each other forever, which is naturally going to drop your guard and make you unusually comfortable with him quickly. You can only play games when your guard is up, so comfort naturally dissolves the arena needed for games playing.
A strong connection changes things.
When two people connect, in a very human way, dating rises from the ashes of bullshit, from the rigorous grind of small talk, to a level where it’s just humans getting to know each other in a very simple way. Every human craves companionship and wants to connect with someone on a deeper level; when you find that person it is pure, unfiltered, and direct.
Games are for children.
Games are for time-wasters. They’re for the less evolved, the emotionally immature, those don’t know what they want or how to effectively communicate what they want. You’re now mature and old enough that you don’t have the time or energy to filter through the bullshit. Presuming your “Mr. Right” is a man, not a boy, he won’t play games. Things will just take on a different life. It’s going to be different than anything you’ve experienced in your dating track record.
When “Mr. Right” enters your life, things will quickly and naturally evolve into something real, pure, and honest. Games will get in the way of the real prize – love.