There is a trend that I am almost too embarrassed to admit to following. What can I, the 1st Lady of Love and sex toy advocate, ever be ashamed of? It’s Reality TV, particularly shows about love and romance. As in Bachelor Pad, Rock of Love, I Love New York, Flavor of Love, For the Love of RayJ…
I can go on and on.
I even watch Big Brother in hopes that a romance will occur as it has again and again. Ron and Sammy on Jersey Shore? Somewhat rooting for them in all their dysfunction. I seethe at the television as they argue and make up, licking off their tan juices once they are in lurve again.
I also tweet while watching these reality shows. I tweeted about Brendon and Rachel from Big Brother 12 and 13 and how, though they annoy me, they’re kind of perfect for each other. My most recent obsession, however, was “Bachelor Pad 2″. I recorded the show via DVR and could not get enough. There are only 7 episodes? I asked no one in particular as the season finale crept up on me.
And what a season finale it was!
In true reality television fashion, we learned that the love affair between Ames – a big toothed Portfolio Manager who wore many ascots – and Jackie – an Assistant Teacher who looked like a scared teacher (meek and quiet) – was over not long after Ames ditched “Bachelor Pad 2” and the $250,000 prize money seconds after Jackie was eliminated. But the big news was that Holy (bear with me), who was once engaged to Michael who was actually her partner on the show, was now engaged to Blake – a dentist and self-professed “Bachelor Pad 2” MAN HOER!
So, will my obsession with this trend ever end? Probably not. I am a hopeless romantic that actually believes these people can fall in love after meeting on a reality television show.
I’ve already set up my DVR to record the upcoming Bachelor.
And, as I watch with anticipation for drama and love and sex, I wonder: maybe I should apply to The Bachelor. That way I can meet a white man and fall in love, only to have him not propose. Heart broken, I join the cast of Bachelor Pad, focusing solely on winning the money. No romance as I have been scarred! I win the dinero, which was extremely challeging as The Bachelor who didn’t propose was a contestant on the same season of Bachelor Pad and returned to win my love. But another white man, as there is no color on The Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor Pad, wants me! I fall in love with the second white man and we are happy ala Blake and Holy!
Okay. I need an intervention.