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Love Trips: Breaking Patterns

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Love Trips: Breaking Patterns

During Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown’s time as a couple, they created magic. They made an upbeat, amateurish infant whose “Oooh’s” and “Aah’s” inspired them to dance The Shoulder Shimmy and The Pelvic Thrust. They spawned an entertaining baby that babbled on and on about kissing ass and Bobby! They brought forth creatures that are so entertaining and equally stupefying that they will live on despite Whitney and Bobby’s divorce.

No, I’m not talking about their daughter, Bobbi Kristina. I’m talking about the pop sensation, “Something in Common.” If you haven’t heard this masterpiece then run to your nearest computer, click on iTunes and press “download”. I’m also talking about the comedic reality show that should have won an Emmy – Being Bobby Brown. A show worth watching as Bobby and Whitney proved the depth of their love when Bobby pulled a doodoo out of Whitney’s constipated culo.

As much as I love Whitney and Bobby’s offspring’s, I don’t want to be the future Whitney and Bobby. This may seem impossible. You look at me and see the talent and beauty that Whitney once was pre-BB and think, well, impossible! But as we saw with Whitney, love or what we think is love can make a woman do silly, stupid things. Like my embracing The Return of Elijah 3.0.

After weeks of multiple texts and promises of a romantic visit, my ex-ex-boyfriend Elijah and I had yet to reunite. But like Whitney, I didn’t give up. Like Whitney, I pushed myself to the limit to prove that our relationship (thrice over) was indeed destined. I mean, why else would he keep coming back? So I released my disappointment and anger. I called Elijah days after he canceled my first attempt to visit him in South Jersey. He had text me, vaguely explaining some babymamma daddy drama. Apparently he would have his son for the weekend because his babymamma’s dad was hospitalized. His parents couldn’t take care of him because they were in New York City watching a Broadway show. I slightly flinched when reading that text, momentarily doubting the validity of his non-punctuated words. But just as Whitney dismissed Bobbie’s infidelities, even after he aided in the reproduction of a few solo projects, I dismissed my churning gut. Days later, I called Elijah to make our reunion a reality.

He picked up after the first ring. Happy to hear from me, he asked how I was. Small talk ensued but, eventually, I got straight to the point.

“I still want to see you and willing to go down to South Jersey,” I stated honestly.

“I want to see you too. I was really disappointed I had to cancel last time. I’m just busy with work and my son. That’s my life. I work, come home and take care of my son,” he complained. He was playing martyr. A role he played well. I knew this yet I swayed to the sound of his violin.

“Well, that’s why I’m offering to come see you,” I expressed, softer now.

“I just don’t want you to go out of your way – “

I cut him off. Did he not want to see me? Was he rejecting my visit? I let it rip, a la Whitney post-BB. “I’m doing this because I want to. So stop persuading me not to, unless this is all bullshit and you don’t want to see me!” I paused, wondering if I should add a “I’m not doing this wit’ you todaaay!” or “Hell to the naw!” but decided to leave erratic, ghettoized Whitney out of my demands.

“Of course I want to see you. I think about it all the time, what it will be like…I’m a little nervous…” Elijah’s voice trailed off and I remained silent. After a few minutes, he spoke and told me when he was free. It’s like he was allowing me to visit him in South Jersey. I didn’t see it then but that’s exactly how it was. I was mush in his manipulative hands.

We finished our conversation and the date was set. The following Sunday after my class, I would take the Chinatown bus to Philly. Elijah would meet me and I would rekindle the love with my Bobby. Because though he was a shameless martyr and I was sadly self-sacrificial, though he had a son with the woman he left me for and I was childless and couldn’t imagine producing a son with my ex, I felt there was something about this love that was like Whitney and Bobby’s, minus the music video and dookie talk. I felt there was something about this love and I couldn’t walk away.

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.


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