What a difference a year makes, especially when it comes to love and relationships. So, to commemorate the unpredictable nature of Cupid (that chubby baby rattles my heart), I’ve decided to take a trip down relationship lane – 2011 edition.
The new month of the new year began with a new date and a first kiss. After meeting Luke on the D train, we had gotten to know each other via 1-2 hour telephone conversations. I remember feeling a nervous excitement as I waited for Luke to arrive. I chose the place as he sucked at planning. I was on time while he was late. Very late. As in almost an hour late. Still, I waited. Cupid hadn’t struck in years and I wanted to give the chubby baby the benefit of the doubt. Luke arrived and, at the time, I felt it was worth the wait.
Valentines Day is Cupids day. It’s also a day that I’ve loathed for years. I’m often single on Valentines Day, probably because men don’t want to buy me gifts. But on February 14, 2011, I was in a relationship. Luke and I were going strong. I introduced him to Mami and my step father. And on Valentines Day my pepa was his to plow for the first time!
The sex wasn’t mind blowing. It actually hurt. It had been 2 years since I had a real pene in my pepa (toys don’t count) so it needed some…adjusting.
Then there was the call from his ex-fling. Cupid can’t give me a break!
Luke and I ran into problems. He was laid off and didn’t feel like a man. He didn’t feel like a provider. I didn’t care. I loved him for him. I didn’t need to be wined and dined. But his somberness lingered. He became detached. Family turmoil also pushed him into a depression. At the end of the month, he left for the Dominican Republic to visit his dying uncle for the last time.
My birthday month was full of change. Cupid often strikes me in the arse right before my personal holiday. This time it was Luke who wasn’t living up to my birthday expectations. He returned from the Dominican Republic and his uncle had died. Still unemployed and mourning, he refused to see me. The night of my birthday I drank way too much tequila, kissed my female cousins on the lips, and demanded attention from Luke. Instead, he left the party early. It was the beginning of the end.
In May, I saw things clearly. Despite my understanding and patience, Luke still refused to open up. He was pushing me away. He shut me out. And I realized I can’t be with someone who believes his problems are his to tackle. If it affects us, it affects me and it becomes my problem, I’d say. Nothing changed. So I did what I could never do; I stood up for my needs and my happiness. I broke up with him. Instead of waiting for him to change, I changed my pattern.
June – October:
I took time off. Cupid had worn me down early on, introducing me to a new man who was successful, attractive and different. He also had a girlfriend. His name was Raymundo. And he was an asshole. He told me he had a live-in girlfriend on our first date.
November – December:
Not wanting to fall into the same hopeless pattern (single and not dating), I joined two online dating sites. For the first time in my life, I was dating multiple men. I opened up to the possibility of someone new and different. Though my last date of 2011 was a bust, I am proud of myself for going against the grain. I know that I will have love one day. Romantic love. Committed love. Love with my best friend, my partner. I know Cupid will stop missing my arse when he shoots arrows.
So, come get me, Cupid. I’m right here, chubby baby. Come closer so you can jab me right in the heart. Cause I am ready for love.
Love reading Sujeiry’s “Love Trips”? Well, you’re in luck! The book version of the popular online column is on its way! For more information on the book release date and the book party. click here!