When I was 17 I dated one of my best friends. We had been friends for two years before we started to date, which created a solid foundation for our relationship. We were inseparable. He was a breath of fresh air and I was so happy it scared me.
This is what being in love is like, I thought. I trusted him with every fiber of my being.
And he was crazy about me. It was such an amazing feeling. At the same time, he was extremely jealous and insecure. He was convinced I was going to leave him for someone else and became extremely paranoid months into our relationship. If I didn’t text him back within 10 minutes, he’d blow up my phone with multiple texts. If I didn’t respond , he’d call me a million times. Sometimes my phone was just charging in another room, it’s not that big a deal!
When we entered college things got worse. We were in different schools and saw each other less. He was convinced I met someone else. He created rash stories in his head about us and tried to control whom I spoke to and spend my time with. He vented about how depressed he was.
“You’re the only thing in my life that’s keeping him alive.”
Our relationship was stressing me out. I was only 18 and he was just so heavy. I wanted out. Then he told me he was sick.
“I need to go to the doctor,” he whined. He wouldn’t specify, he would just tell me how many times he threw up and about all of his nosebleeds. One night he even sent me a selfie with a face full of blood.
“I need dialysis,” he told me. “There’s a tumor in my liver and I might have a brain tumor the size of a dime.”
Still, I attempted to end the relationship.
“How could you leave me when I’m in this condition?” he exclaimed. I thought he was right. I trusted him with everything, and I couldn’t possibly imagine that he would lie to me about something so serious. But our relationship was causing me so much stress. I told him we were better off as friends and he flipped. He cried, screamed and drooled all over his clothes. I apologized again and again. He begged me not to leave him. I stood my ground and made my escape.
A few weeks later, he texted me, stating he was on his way to the hospital to remove his brain tumor. He also said he loved me. This scared the crap out of me. I had no idea what to believe. I replied and he called. We spoke for hours and he sobbed, “I’m afraid and I’m still so upset we broke up!”
He texted me after his surgery: “Surgery is over, babe! They got me hooked up to all of these wires. I’m so tired of hospital food!”
Something didn’t sit right with me. There’s no way someone could recover from a brain surgery that quickly. No way. So I called the hospital and asked what room he was in. Turns out they had no patients under his name. When I confronted him he stuck to his story and called me insensitive. But, a few months later, he finally admitted that he lied. He lied about the entire thing to get my attention. He lied to guilt me back into the relationship. It didn’t work and he not only lost a girlfriend but also a good friend. So much for our solid foundation.