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I Dated An Older Man And Here’s What I Learned

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I Dated An Older Man And Here’s What I Learned

He was 15 years my senior yet acted like a 20 year old.

Dating an older man has always been on my dating bucket list. Mostly because I’ve had little success with guys my age. So when the opportunity arose to date my very own OG (Older Guy), I not only jumped at the chance, but I pulled out of the station full steam ahead.

I quickly learned that while we had more differences than just our age (he was 15 years my senior), he had more in common with the men of my generation than I particularly cared for. What exactly did I learn when it comes to dating an older man? Is age really just a number? The short answer – no! And here’s why:

Older men will constantly remind you of your age.

Despite the fact that I was almost the same age of his two very grown kids, my OG seemed pretty cool with our age difference. At least that was the case at first. Eventually, he constantly pinpointed that I was “just a youngin,” especially when referencing music, pop culture or history. And when we argued, he’d talk to me like I was one of his children. Which leads me to my next point…

Just because a man is older doesn’t mean he is a better communicator.

Whenever me and OG would get into disagreements, he would literally make his point and simply cut me off. And that was the end of the conversation. There was no mature discussion or compromise. In fact, I found that I communicated better with my pre-schoolers than my man. My kiddies would sulk less than he did when he didn’t get his way!

PLUS: 6 Ways Couples Communicated Before Social Media

Older men pull the same bullshit as young men.

Much like the youngin’s I dated, my OG would not pick up my calls and would disappear for hours and sometimes days on end. He pulled the same annoying antics when dating that young guys do. I quickly learned that age ain’t nothing but a number.

Just because he is older doesn’t mean he has his “shit together.”

My OG was no doubt a man. He brought home a paycheck, had a car and lived on his own. On the outside everything seemed copacetic, but after a few weeks I learned that my OG was also a chain smoker, loved watching bootleg stoner movies, and survived off of plastic silverware and takeout. He lived paycheck to paycheck in a studio apartment.

Older men have more confidence in bed.

Despite the misconception that the older you are the whacker the sex gets, my OG had a higher sex drive than a lot of the younger men I have been with.

An older man knows what he wants and you can’t change him.

My OG was very much set in his ways. Along with that came a list of things he did not do, like going clubing and PDA. While he would much rather spend his free time at home with the TV guide and a beer, I did convince him to explore new things. Still, he would act like our fun outings were a chore. And who wants to go bowling with someone who complains the entire time?

MORE: My Year of Celibacy: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Older men have just as much baggage as younger guys.

My OG had a damn near luggage rack full of baggage from past failed relationships. His issues with his baby mama and former exes put a strain on our budding romance and eventually led to our demise. No wonder he lived like a bachelor life for 5 years and counting.

So, older men have as many issues as younger men, proving that age doesn’t matter when it comes to dating. At the end of the day, a succesful relationship has little to do with age and everything to do with maturity.

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Tiffani is a true city gal, hailing from the concrete jungle of New York City. With a large coffee in tow (that’s pronounced caw-fee to my non-New Yorkers) this closeted “self-help” addict and Lifestyles writer is on a continuous quest to discover how to have the best romantic life. An old soul with new age sarcasm, Tiffani’s sharp, witty and tell-it-like-it-is attitude has resulted in many a snafu as she tries to navigate and conquer the most challenging and complicated assignment of all: dating the New York City man. Come a long for the ride as this seasoned serial dater tries to find balance between her journey to self-love and her old school values on dating and relationships. She writes about her lessons and adventures in dating as a twenty-something millennial and all the new rules that apply.


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