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7 Things to Know About an Open Relationship

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Ay Love!

7 Things to Know About an Open Relationship

Is an open relationship just a free for all of sex, sex, and more sex?

As a self-professed possesive woman, I could never share Boo – or any man I’ve dated for that matter – with another. I just can’t handle my love passing his peen like it’s a selection at a buffet. Open relationships just are not for me, y’all! If Boo comes up to me and says, “I think I’m going to bang Linda tonight,” I may bang his head with a caldero.

Still, I’m curious about open relationships as many couples are choosing to live and love this way. So, is an open relationship a free for all of sex, sex, and more sex? Or is there more to this unique relationship? I chatted with a Dominicana who lives this lifestyle, and this is what she wants you to know about open relationships.

PLUS: Eskimo Sisters: We Banged the Same Guy

There are boundaries.

Couples in an open relationship set boundaries and rules. Yes, rules!. The couple decides what’s considered cheating and what’s allowed. Usually, you can’t sleep with friends, have sleep overs, or sleep with any “regulars.” Because sleeping with someone who is “a regular” can lead to developing an emotional connection. And that’s a no-no.

It’s not a full-on affair.

“But that’s what they’re doing?!” you scream. Not exactly. When in an open relationship, the primary relationship is the main relationship. That’s the relationship that’s nurtured. Those who live “the lifestyle” shouldn’t speak to their lover at all hours of the night while their partner lies next to them, hoping for some sugar. The secondary relationship is mostly sexual.

Honesty with some discretion.

Some folks in open relationships don’t want to know every detail. You can tell him you went out for drinks with Juan, but you may want to leave out that he did you doggy style. People are human and, yes, jealousy can come into play even when in an open relationship. That’s why many couples in open relationships use discretion.

An open relationship is the same as a monogamous relationship.

Say what? In theory, it really is! Just like a monogamous couple, a non-monogamous couple builds a life together that encompases trust, respect and love. They may even have children. The only difference is the number of men or women (or both!) they’re sexing.

It’s helpful to know other couples in open relationships.

There’s a community for couples in open relationships. Through this group, you may not only meet potential sexual partners, but you receive support without judgment. If you’re new to this world, a more experienced couple may take you and your man under their wing. Plus, these communities have parties. Bow chica wow wow!

No BFFs.

The second (third or fourth) sex buddy can be someone that you are friendly with, but it shouldn’t be your BFF. Si no, it can get complicated. Again, the priority is the primary relationship. If a foundation has already been established with a lover, it’s that much easier to fall in love with them.

MORE: Threesomes: Just for Singles or Are Couples Into It?

Keeping it hush.

When I spoke to la Dominicana, she admitted that her family is unaware of her open relationship. That’s because it’s still very taboo, especially among Latinos. If you’re interested in being in an open relationship, she recommends experimenting first before deciding to join the lifestyle. Because it is a lifestyle. If you feel that being in an open relationship will make you happiest, choose a partner that wants to join you. In time, you will feel comfortable enough to tell those you love. Hopefully, they’ll love you enough and remain open.

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of LoveSujeiry.com. She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto LoveSujeiry.com - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on Latina.com works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.

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