I’ve always thought I have more fun with my family than I do with my friends. I’ll be the first to admit that some of my family stories are so ridiculous that you have no choice but to be entertained. Case in point, my great grandmother once welcomed a gentleman from the neighborhood to use the bathroom in her home on the Dominican countryside. He tried to take advantage of her and my great grandmother, not one to be messed with, fought him as she called for help. He was driven away by her neighbors who heard her cursing and screaming. She would not put up with such disregard and disrespect, so she sat in her rocking chair on her front porch every night after that with a machete. She was waiting for him to pass by her house because she was going to “take care” of this situation herself. No cops, No help. Obviously, we had to knock some sense into her, but not before she called us everything but children of God. She’s a lovely lady.
Obviously, my family is awesome.
So, you can imagine my surprise when while talking to my sister she let me know my family would be attending Halloween festivities and that I was not invited. It wasn’t on purpose, I already had plans to attend my girl’s party, but I was still hurt. “You hurt my soul!” I said to one of my sisters in a text message. “I curse you and your family!”
What can I say? I have a flair for the dramatic.
That Saturday night, I made my way to my friend’s party bringing along my “sexy” panda costume. (By sexy, I mean super slutty.) The “sexy” costume looked as if it was made for a toddler and I had the right sense to wear shorts under the high-cut dress. As more of my friends arrived to the party we toasted with wine, beer and music. I was already two drinks in and, not wanting to be too drunk, opted not to go for my third. I made my way to the kitchen with three girlfriends to catch up. As we laughed the hostess’ phone rings. She picks up the phone: “sure, of course you all can come.” She hangs up and gives me a wide-eyed look. “That was your sister. She says she’s on her way in a cab with your other sister, cousins and your mom.”
I grab that third beer after all.
They can’t be serious, right? My mother coming to my friend’s Halloween party in a house packed with very intoxicated 20-somethings? Unfortunately, it was. The door bell rang and I open the door to find my sister, my cousin and my mother (dressed up as a mix between a gypsy and Tinkerbelle). My other sister, cousin and cousin’s significant other had arrived a few minutes before. It was a family affair
I take another drink.
Lesson 1: your mother coming to your friend’s party feels the same at 17 as it does at 27. Except now, you can drink the feeling away.
“You look great!” my mother says to me. Thank goodness I wore these spandex shorts under this costume, I think to myself. She comes in and sits down on a chair with my cousin next to her. She calls me over with a worried look on her face and whispers to me “is everyone going to feel weird I’m here?” I realize she must feel the same way I do. She wanted to have some Halloween family time with her daughters and a house party was not exactly her idea.
I remember this when throughout the night she asks me to tell the people in the best costumes to take pictures with her.
Me: *takes sip of wine and sighs* Hey um, my mom wants to take a picture with you. She likes your costume.
Friend in awesome costume: Wait. Your mom is here?!
I remember that thought when she wants to take a photo with her daughters in their costumes or when she watches my friends and I dancing. Wasn’t I upset earlier in the week because my family was getting together without me? The Universe heard me complain and brought me exactly what I asked for.
Lesson 2: Be careful what you wish for or at least be very specific. Or you’ll end up with your mother at your Halloween party.
I look over at her as the night ends laughing with my sisters, my cousins and I. She had a great time and if I’m honest, I must admit, I had a great time too.