“She just knows exactly what I’m feeling,” I told Kate about the singer/songwriter Lana Del Rey. We were sitting on Kate’s bed, sharing a tub of ice cream while Lana’s music played in the background. Zach and I had recently broken up and I felt completely helpless. He ghosted me, actually, so it hurt even more. Ice cream was kind of filling the hole in my heart. And so was Lana.
Lana Del Rey is badass yet allows herself to be unbelievably vulnerable. She plays the helpless victim while portraying herself as a strong woman – and her fans eat it up, including me. In fact, most Millennial women wish they could let down their guard in the same way as Lana. Our generation has an “I don’t care” mentality. Pride trumps actual feelings. We’re afraid to be pegged as the “crazy girl.” Yet Lana puts it all out there.
She sings a lot about sad break ups, so her music helped me heal from my failed relationship with Zach. Especially “Dark Paradise” – a song about a love affair she can’t get over as she thinks the person she was in a relationship with is perfect.
“All my friends ask me why I stay strong, tell them when you find true love it lives on.”
That’s exactly how I felt about Zach. I felt so attached to him and was convinced that I would never meet someone like him ever again. In my eyes, he was perfect. Of course, I didn’t want to tell Zach that I felt worthless, lonely, ugly, and rejected, and like no one was going to like me ever again. How how dare he leave me?! So it was nice to connect with my emotions in a safe and controlled space. By myself. Away from my cell phone. Or at least with Kate. Just in case I compulsively contacted Zach.
Even if you’re not a Lana Del Ray fan, music in general really helps one move on from a broken heart. Or at least start the healing process. Here’s why:
Music feels like a BFF.
When dealing with a break up it’s always helpful to talk to a friend that can relate to your experience. Music makes us feel like we are not alone! If Beyoncé was once a “Broken Hearted Girl” and has moved on, why can’t you?
You discover feelings you didn’t know you had.
You might hear a lyric that feels so close to home it makes you cry. And a good cry is often needed after a breakup. Good for the soul.
Music empowers and builds up your self worth.
A certain lyric, melody or tempo can help you realize that you’re worthy of true and healthy love, and that you will move on soon enough. “I Will Survive,” anyone?
As for me, I survived my break up with Zach. Not only am I over him, but I also realize that I am so much better without him – all because of Lana Del Rey.