I hate to admit it but Instagram almost killed my relationship.
When Stephen and I began dating in 2013, I had approximately 9,000 Instagram followers and that number was steadily increasing. On average, each of my photos received over 200 likes and Stephen never seemed to have a problem with it. However, as time went on and my social media engagement continued to skyrocket, my boyfriend had a problem.
Stephen complained about the likes and the thirsty guys who commented on my posts. Every time I gained a follower Stephen caught an attitude. He hated the attention I received from my followers. At first, I didn’t pay it much mind because, after all, it’s just Instagram, right? I wasn’t worried about who liked my photos or who commented. In reality, out of all the love I received on the ‘Gram, I was only hoping for Stephens.
Stephen started to accuse me of being an attention seeker while I thought he was being irrational. Arguing about Instagram became an everyday thing. I’d try to reason with him and to reassure him nothing would change between us, but it didn’t help.
Eventually, I put myself in his shoes. I realized that he felt as if he were competing with my followers. And I thought, “Man, I’d hate if bitches were all over his pictures.” Lord knows it’s true.
It was pointless to argue over likes and followers. Which is why I deleted my Instagram account and started from zero. I did this to prove a point that what was happening on my Insta didn’t define me or us. It meant nothing to me.
Today I have about 1.5k followers that are mostly women. My male followers are guys I actually know. I don’t regret starting over. Constantly feeling like you’re in competition with others while in a relationship can lead to unnecessary insecurities and I didn’t need the drama. Our relationship blossomed soon after.
Alanna is an aspiring writer and editor, who hopes to also pursue a career in advertising and public relations. A Lehman College alumni, she earned her degree in Media Communication Studies. In the near future, she plans to attend graduate school to pursue her master's degree.