A few years ago a good friend was heartbroken over unrequited love. Every time she was upset all I wanted to say was, “It sucks. I know. But he just doesn’t like you.” For better or for worse I have always been the friend who tells it like it is. So I did. Ok, fine. I could have worked on the delivery but heartbreak is one of those emotions that cripple and paralyze you, and sometimes tough love is the only way to get through.
A few years after that conversation, I sat at an all-you-can drink brunch with a couple of my closest friends. We looked at our menus while I tried to decide whether I wanted unlimited bellinis or just one mimosa. Meanwhile, another friend caught us up on her dating life. I tried to focus on my menu and keep my first thought from slithering out my lips. Except it slipped: “I think you should date other people. Why put all your eggs in one basket?”
She looked at me with an expression that said, “Well, what if that’s the basket I want?!” I caught myself, “I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have said that.” But it was too late.
I promise you, in both of those stories my friends appreciated my honesty. Maybe not when I said it but in the long run they were glad I wasn’t a “yes woman.” A person who agrees with everything even though they feel differently. The question is, why can’t I be that person to myself?
I asked myself this question as I ran 6 miles at the gym. I’ve never run that much without stopping midway but the question kept me moving. I asked myself this because, lately, I’ve been feeling insecure.
What is there to be insecure about when you know how much you’re worth? What is there to be insecure about when you believe at the bottom of your heart that the choices you make are in your best interest?
As I hit the 5 mile mark it comes to me. Insecurity? That feeling of I’m I not good enough? The feeling that makes you question everything around you? This is the same thing that can break you. Even when your gut tells you that you know better. Like a huge neon sign I saw the answer.
Always go with your gut. Always go with the little voice that tells you that you know better.
That’s the way to be the person who tells it like it is to yourself. We tend to ignore the little voice that tells you that something or someone is not good for you. The voice that tells you that you can reach your goals and not to give up.
Of course no matter how many times I know this to be true, it’s always easier to give advice then to take it.