I adore my pepa™. I pet her when she’s been good, selecting men who are worthy of entry. I reprimand her when she’s bad, shaking my finger at her because she shouldn’t have had unprotected sex in the heat of the moment! Me and my pepa™ are one. Best friends forever. She is the ying to my yang. And so I treat her with care, grooming her with an electric razor and waxing along her bikini line and then some. The pain was for your own good, Pepa™! I coaxed her as Svetlana ripped away her pelitos. My pepa™ understood because she knows me.
My pepa™ is me.
Still, I feel like I haven’t done enough for her. Haven’t treated her well enough. Haven’t always respected her enough. Her ability to receive and push life – she, the connection to my uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries – lost on me at times. So today, I have decided that I will praise her like the Goddesses and sirens of the mysterious blue seas. Provide her with the glitz and glam that she deserves. Halleluiah Amen! Soon, when money allows, I will give her the ultimate gift.
Vajazzling is “the act of applying glitter and jewels to a woman’s nether regions for aesthetic purposes.” Diamonds are a girl’s best friend; with this new trend, they are also a pepa™ favorite. So how does vajazzling work, exactly? Here are the instructions on how to vajazzle your pepa™ straight from the official vajazzling website:
- Clean the skin. Shave or wax the area and clean the skin with an alcohol swab or soapy cloth to remove any oils or sweat. Dry the skin completely and move onto the next step.
- Apply a drop of eye lash glue. This adhesive is to help paste the jewels. Make sure you do not place too much as it will drop all over your pepa™ bling! You can also buy jewels that already have the adhesive.
- Choose your crystal, jewel, rhinestone or sequin. It’s all about preference and what you want to help your pepa™ shine.
- It’s time for the bling. Using tweezers, pick up the jewels, and place them in the desired location. Make sure the jewels are facing up. Gently touch the jewel to the glue and then place it onto your private parts. Allow drying for a few minutes, and whala you have a vajazzled pepa™!
If you are more of a visual person, then here is a YouTube video by Completely Bare Spa on how to vajazzle.
Enjoy pampering your pepa™ as much as I will enjoy vajazzling mine! Because we are worth it.