Standing out of a crowd may be easy for some but even those who pop need a little help during the summer. With booty shorts and short skirts in abundance, summer time is the perfect time to stand out from every other girl. Fortunately, relationship expert Rori Raye has shared some tips on how to find and keep a mate while being ourselves.
Her mission is similar to mine — to help women get the guy without the use of desperate tactics.
So, how do we get men to stick around for the long haul? According to Raye, it’s about being a “modern siren.”
“Being a modern siren is about being strong on the inside and being soft on the outside.”
It’s about being yourself. It’s about saying what you mean and having the man love you for who you are, not despite of it. That is the essence of being a “modern siren.” How does one master this skill? By listening to our intuition instead of external voices. Once we believe the voices in the media and what others believe about us and love and relationships, well, our fears get the best of us. That’s when we freeze. That’s when we refuse to take risks in love. Our fears paralyze us. What happens when we are afraid yet want to be in love and have a relationship?
“We shut down,” says Raye. “We close down our feelings. We close down our hearts. We shut down our aparatus and pretend and smile when we are angry and we do things that we think will be great in relationships but don’t work at all because it really isn’t us.”
It turns out, we have to open up our hearts first. Asking a man questions in hopes he will open up immediately is not the smartest approach to get the guy. Suprising, I know. I always felt I talked too much. That I shared too much with my love interests. But we must open up whether we want to or not. As terrifying as it may seem, we, as women and “modern sirens,” must be vulnerable.
But first, we must fall in love with ourselves.
That’s when men are much more attracted to us and want to get to know us for more than just one night. And, according to Raye, falling in love with ourselves is key to being on the right road, instead of the three wrong roads. Here is the breakdown:
- Physical Road: The physical road is all about sex and more sex. It’s about body language and physical touching. This leads to sexual relationships, usually casual. And that rarely leads to love.
- Mental Road: When we describe our emotions using our minds and not our hearts, we only connect mentally. The relationship will not develop the deep emotional connection that is needed to survive.
- Spiritual Road: Being good and kind in a relationship is great but it cannot be the way we always react. Sometimes we have to be a little unreasonable, if only to express our emotions and not hold everything in.
Now, what is the right road to love? The emotional road, of course. That’s when we tap into our feelings and share was we feel. That’s when he begins to learn who we are and that we are in touch with ourselves emotionally. The second he feels your openness, he will open up.And that’s the road to his heart.
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Stop Complaining About Your Past
Complaining about what happened then only brings negative energy to your present. Yes, your ex sucks. Yes, he broke your heart. But why dwell on what you cannot change? We always need time to mourn past loves but you can't harp on it forever. So don't! Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons.