There will come a point in your relationship where you will have to say you are sorry. None of us are perfect. We are all a bit rough around the edges. So eventually we will mess up and hurt the one we love.
Often when we hurt a loved one it isn’t intentional. I, for one, sometimes hurt a friend, my boyfriends or a family members feelings. Subconsciously, I take a negative tone or unleash a bad behavior or habit. I’m unaware that I caused them pain yet when they tell me so I apologize. Why? Because I should. I say I’m sorry even when I don’t want to. Here’s how you can too.
Realize that his feelings are valid.
You’ve hurt him. You didn’t mean it but he still hurts. Instead of proving him wrong or defending yourself, tell him that his feelings are valid by saying that you are sorry. In the end we all have our own perspective, but hurt feelings are hurt feelings. Never question or diminish them.
Pick your battles.
An apology can nip an impending battle in the bud. Say you are sorry when it comes to the little things. Realize how silly it is to be angry about spilled milk or his leaving the trash out all night. The little things are much easier to get over, so why not just move on with an apology?
Don’t get defensive.
If you are going to apologize and mean it, you can’t get defensive. This means that you are ready for battle. You are going in with fists up, prepared to block anything that comes your way. An apology is not an apology if you refuse to accept your part in the hurt.
Apologize without excuses or “buts.”
Or blame! It is easy to go this route. Deflecting and making excuses is a mechanism that many of of use when we are focused on our hurt and being right. But that’s not what this is about. You hurt him and he deserves an apology, not an excuse for why you hurt him. Whether you hurt him unintentionally or not hurt is hurt. No if, ands, or buts about it.
Once you realize that an apology can go a long way you will say that you are sorry that much easier. Often times what we want to hear is that the person heard us and knows how hurt we are. In the end, saying you’re sorry is not about right and wrong; it’s about love and understanding.