So, I hear that courtship is dead. It’s laid out on the concrete, arms and legged sprawled like a murdered corpse. That’s what the New York Times article “The End of Courtship”says anyway. Apparently, men only text and want to “hang out” as opposed to doing that thing that old folks do. You know, that foreign concept known as “dinner and a movie.”
I am here to tell you that you can turn this all around. Ladies, you can have expectations and set boundaries. Here are some tips on how to revive courtship.
Say No To Last Minute Dates
If a man texts you 10 minutes to midnight to “hang out” your immediate response should be no. The same goes for an invitation the night before. You shouldn’t be at a man’s beck and call. You should be busy living your life with friends, work, family, and/or school. Show him that your time is valuable by telling him you need advance notice. That means 2-3 days beforehand not 2-3 minutes. If he doesn’t respect your wishes some other man will. (Keyword: man!)
Don’t Go Over To His Place to “Watch a Movie”
Going over to his place to “watch a movie” is usually code for “lets hook up.” Do yourself a favor and reject his proposal. It sounds alluring; you’re checking out his place and snuggling on the couch with your interest. But it’s also an easy way for him to spend time with you without putting in much effort. He should take you out to dinner. Not order Dominos when you’re over. He should buy you drinks. Not let you sip from his bottle of Smirnoff. Once you are an item you can go over to his place all you want. You can even leave a toothbrush.
Nip His Texting Habit Pronto
If you want him to call more instead of text put a stop to it by being honest. Usually, this works. If it doesn’t you need to take other measures. It’s all detailed in my article “3 Ways to Get Him to Stop Texting and Start Calling.”
The Hookup Culture Exists Because You Let It
If you’re frustrated with men just wanting to “hook up” maybe you should stop hooking up. If you wouldn’t go over for an obvious booty call or expect more than sex when at his apartment to “watch a movie” men would use the courting skills that lie within. Don’t make it that easy. If you want to be courted but continue giving up your pepa with no strings attached you’ve sealed your fate.
Women can revive courtship by upping their standards. If women united and said, “HELL NO! WE WON’T GO (to your apartment/to a bar without advance notice/to bed with you so you can love me and commit to me)!” men wouldn’t have a choice but to return to the times of courtship. So, get your electric paddles and plug them in. It’s up to you, ladies, to resurrect the corpse.
Image Credit: Kevin Dooley.