We hear it happens often. People meeting on the train platform or perhaps just when sitting side by side atop the orange seats. I’m not sure if it’s the rocking of the train that pumps men’s testosterone or increases a woman’s estrogen level to ask-a-stranger out proportions, or maybe it’s the potential of a love story to tell their children. A story depicting the harsh, fast pace city of NY as a soft, forgiving one filled with love and surprises that don’t include giant rats.
So how does one become the straphanger who gets a wedding band strapped on (or a strap on if that’s more your taste)? Follow these steps brought to you from many train riding observations.
1. Spot the man that’s stirring your loins and possibly your egg count. Just like you would at a bar, make eye contact and look away after you lock eyes for a second. Don’t forget to smile flirtatiously (that means with a little mischief and no cheese.)
2. If he’s on the platform waiting for the train, make sure you enter the same car when the train arrives. Even if you have to shove your way in or fly over a baby carriage; enter through the same door! In a city as crowded as NY, you don’t want to loose him in the shuffle, or worse, under someone’s armpit.
3. You’re in. Now where do you position yourself? If there are two empty seats next to each other, sit down and glance at him. If he’s interested, he’ll sit down next to you. If not, he’s too slow for you! If there are no empty seats, hold onto his pole (pun not intended).
4. He takes your generous, silent offer and sits next to you. This is when you welcome him again with a smile. From there, he’ll most likely say something. The train is a non-threatening place to speak to strangers because there’s no pretense. The only intention is to get to work, home or any other destination. Whether it’s a thank you or a comment about the crowd, trust me, he will begin a conversation. If he doesn’t speak, take some initiative. After all, you are an independent woman.
Note for the ladies holding onto his pole. Eventually, with the motion of the train and the shoves of the riders, you will bump into each other. Say excuse me or apologize and smile. A conversation will commence and you can thank the rocking and the poking for the potential rocking and poking.
5. You’ve exchanged words, now what about his relationship status? Notice nonverbal cues. Is he wearing a ring on his ring finger? If so, he is taken, even if it’s not a wedding band (as of late, men who aren’t married but are in relationships have been wearing a ring on their ring finger). If he doesn’t have a ring, does the finger have a tan? (We all know people take their rings off). Does he have any hickies, smell like perfume or home cooking (though that may just indicate he lives with his momma)? Take note of anything that strikes you as relationshipy so, down the line, you don’t become other woman.
6. He’s singe. Now it’s time to exchange information. This exchange must occur quickly. Your cutie may only be with you for another stop, or worse, transfer trains! This is how you get his digits effortlessly and confidently:
- Right before your stop, grab a newspaper (there’s always one laying around), write your number down and pass it to him before you saunter off. I saw a woman do this after a brief five minute conversation with a man sitting beside her. He was beaming when she walked off the train and still beaming, seconds later, when adding her number to his cell.
- Ask for his number! You have nothing to loose! If rejected, you can always run out the door as if it were your stop and enter another car. Or you can take it like a woman, shrug your shoulders and talk about the weather.
So, throw caution to the wind and give these steps a try. You may or may not get a ring on it, but you’ll definitely have a story to tell.