There never seems to be enough time in the day to juggle love, friendships, and family obligations. Not to mention the 40 hour work week, 3 times a week gym routine, and if you’re anything like me, the never ending whirlwind that occurs in the creative mind. I have recently found it to be a struggle to balance life but decided that instead of complaining about it I would find a solution, specifically when it comes to my romantic relationship.
My situation is a bit unique. I am with a man who is a full-time father to a 4-year-old. He takes his daughter to school, picks her up from school, feeds her, soothes her when she’s ill and weeping, and even sleeps with his daughter every night (unless he’s with me). Sharing my boyfriend with his daughter is a must. Being second on the list is sometimes inevitable. I am a grown woman after all. I don’t need him to buy me milk from the store or put me to bed. So how do we and other couples find the time for our relationship? It goes a little something like this.
- Schedule alone time. This is a bit challenging for me and my boyfriend as he is not a planner. I, on the other hand, would schedule dookie time if I could, but alas my body goes when my body goes. Since I am more organized than my partner, I take it upon myself to schedule alone time. Recently, I purchased two tickets to the Bodies exhibit which will expire by the end of March. I will sit down with my boyfriend and choose a date for him, and he’s just going to have to come along!
- Take initiative. As women, we tend to wait for men to set the date and make plans. It’s always nice to be wined and dined, but when there are only 24 hours in the day you also have to take the initiative to set some time apart for your relationship. That’s why I bought the tickets to the Bodies exhibit. I believe in being treated most of the time but it is important to put in equal work as your male counterpart. If you want to do something, like go to a new restaurant or go to a nightclub, research the information yourself. Tell him where to be and when and he will be present.
- Find time during the work week. My boyfriend and I do this well. He picks me up after work and we go to dinner, spending a few hours together before he goes home to his daughter and I to writing and then bed. Another option is to have lunch together once a week. It is not only romantic but also a sweet pick me up from your hectic day. You can also take that lunch to go, find a hotel room, and get really lifted.
- Use the telephone. And I don’t mean texting! Pick up your cell and actually press his name. Listen to the phone as it rings and feel the anticipation to hear his voice. And then whala, you have a conversation! Tell each other how much you miss one another and blow each other kisses without the use of emoticons. I am all for texting because it is fast and easy, but please, for the sake of building intimacy and sharing quality time, speak to your partner!
- Last but not least is phone sex. On the weeks where you cannot spend more than 3 hours with your partner or your so swamped at work you’re too exhausted to make plans, then pick up your handy cell and get busy over radio waves. With today’s technology, you don’t have to be that creative with words. Simply download the free IPhone and Android application called Tango and flash your boyfriend a boob or your pepa™. You’ll be sure to rise his interest.
All it takes to find the time for your relationship is creativity and desire. And let’s face it, we kind of have to; work, family, and babies will always get in the way. So find your inner Super Woman and get to planning and calling. Don’t forget to purchase some sexy lingerie for your late night session.