In my early 20s, I made the typical mistake of keeping my feelings to myself. I’d date a guy and expect him to know that I wanted him to introduce me to his momma, buy me calla lilies, and work his sexual magic a little to right of my clitoris. That, my friends, is not the way to build a successful relationship, and your surely not going to achieve orgasm. The only way to get what you need and deserve is to open your yap and say so!
I took this direct approach with The Twin who text me the following day after he’d called during Booty Call Hour. His text said he wanted me to meet him right then and there at La Casa Del Mofongo. I replied, “I have plans. If you want to see me, set a date. That’s how it goes. Learn it.”
I pressed send and began combing my hair. Seconds later, my phone rang.
“Hey! Come through!” The Twin yelled over a blasted merengue.
“I just told you. I have plans,” I reiterated while applying eye shadow.
“Come by with your friend,” he shouted again. A bachata now played and the crowd sang to the popular tune.
I chuckled. “Listen. I’m not going to change my plans because you decided to see me. It doesn’t work that way. If you want to see me, set a date and time in advance.” The Twin grew silent.
“Ay, you’re going to break my heart ante de tiempo,” he finished somberly.
“Just call me when you’re free and we’ll figure something out,” I responded, a little softer now.
“Ok,” he said with disappointment in his voice. “You’re hard…but I like that.”
And they always do, which is why I recommend you be honest with your fellow(s). It’s the only way to get what you need and deserve!