In the 21st century virtually all of our activities occur online, and this includes dating. According to Pew Research, 1 in every 5 adult Americans have signed on to an online dating site. Personally, I’ve tried a variety of online dating sites. With the click of a button and minimal effort, you have access to thousands of singles in your area. The process seems simple enough in theory but in practice it can be very overwhelming. Unfortunately, many of the popular dating sites, like Tinder, focus almost exclusively on looks.
So where does this leave plus-sized women? As a former big gal myself, I know the struggles with online dating. I had to weed through a ton of douche bags but I did manage to meet a lot of fabulous guys that didn’t judge me based on my size. You may receive your share of shallow messages like, “I love curves but more like Fergie, not Rosie O’Donnell,” or “sorry, not into BBW.” Well, now that we are being honest, I’m not that into a balding middle-aged man who lives in his parents basement and is between jobs because he needs time to find his passion. You know the type: not enough ambition to work or provide for himself, but plenty of time to troll online dating sites and pass judgement from his basement lair like some sort of Bond villain.
What is a girl to do? Here are some dating tips to find love online when you are big, bold and beautiful:
Don’t be afraid to be the one to initiate contact.
If you see a cool profile, go for it! You have nothing to lose! As one of my sources who wants to remain anonymous said, “I initiated contact with someone because he had kind eyes and I liked what his profile had to say.” She also suggested being thorough and reading the person’s profile.
Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket.
That’s right, I said it. You should talk to more than one guy at a time. Online dating is a numbers game.
Be proud of who you are.
This means being honest. If you know you’re not “average,” click on the “few extra pounds” button. By taking this one small step you are already eliminating a few shallow men. Also, when taking a selfie or posting a picture, don’t angle it so you are 30lbs lighter. Do not portray yourself as someone other than who you truly are. And don’t use any sort of photography tricks!
Always post pictures that are up to date.
Your photos should represent what you look like now, not 10 years ago. Also, many women post pictures with a few of their friends as it helps take away attention from them. If your slim friend is in every single picture you put up, there is a good chance that the man will hope you are her. If you can’t help yourself (or you don’t have any solo pics), clearly label who is who in group shots. This will help reduce confusion.
Many women say that men are shallow. That they only want women with tiny waists and fake boobs. But they don’t realize how shallow they can be as well. “Well, he had a great job and really had his shit together but he’s balding.” “I mean, he had a really cute face but he would have looked horrible with his shirt off.” Sound familiar? I’m not saying you need to lower your standards or settle for a man that you aren’t attracted to, but you have to be open minded. You cannot judge a book by its cover. Some of the most awesome guys I have dated are average looking.
Bottom line, if a man isn’t accepting you for you, he isn’t worth your time. Remember, women are beautiful at any shape and size. Every man is different. Some will like you and some won’t. You just have to put yourself out there, go with the flow and have a blast while doing so!