My now husband loves to go out with his guy friends. He is in the military, a fraternity boy, and plays on all-male sport teams. He’s a man’s man. He always has an invitation to go somewhere and celebrate something. Many times, the invitations specify, “no wifies.” Meaning, no one is to bring their girlfriends or wives.
It’s been over 10 years and this can still cause an argument. Why do I get so upset when he hangs out with “the boys”? Honestly, the idea of other women hanging around my man at a bar or club infuriates me. Many of his friends are single, like to drink, and stay out super late. Yes, yes I know. I must be insecure. The point is that I want to hang out with him. Even if it’s just to watch TV. We both work so our weekends are precious. Why can’t he understand?
The Benefits of His Boys Night Out
Recently, I’ve learned that there is a positive to my husband’s Boys Night Out. It has made me an independent woman who enjoys her own personal time. When he is away, my social life does not stop. I have dates with my girlfriends and do everything I want to do. I realized I was missing out on certain activities because I wanted to spend my time with him. My social life revolved around his and his friends. I would do whatever they wanted to do. How many more bars and clubs could I go to? How many more events could I attend for his friends? At some point, I lost myself in his lifestyle.
Boys Night Out allowed me to rediscover myself. I only wish I had the courage and foresight to do it alone.
Still, it was difficult for me to accept the Man-cations. I nearly lost my mind the first time my boyfriend, now husband, told me he was going on vacation with his friends. I was so mad I booked a flight to Las Vegas to visit friends. Turns out, I had a great time. I never thought I would enjoy vacationing without my partner. My husband is not a traveler. He prefers just being in the Caribbean with friends and family. I’m fortunate to have friends who love to explore the world. Since then, I’ve traveled to London, Paris, Shanghai, and Barcelona with my girlfriends.
In the end, his Boys Night Out’s have allowed me to expand my circle. A long time ago, someone told me “one person cannot be your everything.” I didn’t really believe it. However, 10 years later, I completely understand. I learned that I don’t have to do everything with my husband. I shouldn’t only make plans because he goes out with his friends. If I want to see another Broadway show, eat at a new restaurant, or go to a museum, I call my friends.
Besides, my husband loves me unconditionally, makes me laugh, cooks, and makes sure I’m safe. Can I really hold it against him when he doesn’t want to go to the museum again or see another Broadway show? That’s what friends are for.