When my familia hears the term “birth control” they think it’s just an excuse to get nasty. To a certain extent it is, but that’s besides the point. While many women take birth control as a form of contraception, I choose to swallow those magical pills due to suffering from excruciating menstrual pain. Since the early age of 9, I’ve endured killer pain while sometimes vomiting my soul. One time I almost fainted on the subway. Que horror and literal drag!
Advil, Midol, Naproxen: they are no match for Tia Flowrinda. Drinking a hot ginger tea feels nice for about three seconds, which is when a scene from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre plays out in my uterus once again.
Not having control of this dolor feels completely defeating so I shared my experience with my OBGYN and she suggested birth control. It turns out, taking the pill would shorten and lighten my period and I would be pain-free. That sounded like heaven on Earth but I brushed her off because of mami. I wouldn’t even know how to bring it up to her without igniting theatrics.
Then it happened: I could barely walk because of those insensitive, inconsiderate cramps. My mind was made up. Hello, birth control! Goodbye, sons of bitches! I mean, cramps. And fuck el que diran! Of course, like most things in life, being on the pill wasn’t all daisies and roses. One side effect is weight gain and fuller bossoms (I didn’t mind that part too much). I just didn’t know I would turn into a crazed ball of emotions. Not that I wasn’t like that already. It just got worse!
For a while, I didn’t know what was going on. I was moody as hell and didn’t know what to do with myself. I had constant headaches, nausea and breast tenderness. I felt as if I were experiencing PMS symptoms every day (how annoying!). Stephen? He was over my shit. He thought I was crazy before, but now? I had been promoted to psycho. When he noticed my random ass mood swings and nasty attitude, he was convinced that I had made the wrong decision. And I started to believe Stephen was right. I thought it would take a toll on our relationship. It did during the beginning… petty arguments, silent treatments for no reason. Eventually, I learned how to cope with these drastic side effects by not playing into them and reminding myself this wasn’t me. I was un poquito loquita – not deranged!
Thankfully, the side effects vanished after a couple of months of being on birth control. Stephen and I are back to normal, my skin is clearing up (winning!) and Tia Flowrinda isn’t causing a ruckus when she visits. What could possibly go wrong now?! (Knocks on wood.)