When I was single and dating I dreaded “the talk.” Not that talk (although, I also hated having to ask a guy, “Where is this going?” to only hear, “Let’s just go with the flow. Or worse, I’d never hear from him again.) I’m referring to the texting conversation. You know, where I’d politely text a guy, “I’m not a fan of texting, and I’d really appreciate it if we’d talk on the phone once in a while.” He’d usually follow my text with a, “but I’m so busy!” Or worse, I’d never hear from him again.
What’s so bad about texting and dating? First, I type over 4o hours a week due to work alone. These stories don’t write themselves. Second, carpal tunnel syndrome is real! I might be diagnosed with arthritis in 3 years – and I’m only 37! Lastly, you really can’t get to know someone when you’re just texting.
GUY: What u doing?
ME: Just chilling at home. You? (Yes, I spell everything out when I text.)
GUY: Same. How was ur day?
Cause my fingers are freaking tired and my wrists are aching!!!
ME: But, we will see. How was your day?
Minutes later, hours later, and he never replies.
ME: (in my head and staring at my phone) WHY AREN’T YOU REPLYING? HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO TEXT A RESPONSE ABOUT YOUR DAY?! AAAAAAAH!
Do you see how difficult it can be to get to know someone if you see them twice a month and only text? Do you see why I hate texting?
Luckily, I’m off the market. Engaged and knocked up, you’d think I wouldn’t text at all. Yet texting is still consuming my relationships; this time it’s my friendships. Time and again I’m on my computer, writing and replying and crafting emails, and my phone buzzes. It’s Friend A asking me how I’m doing, or Friend B telling me how they’re doing – and pretty much attempting to have a full-fledged conversation via text. I use Siri often, but bitch always misconstrues my words. She doesn’t understand my New York Latina accent! But what else can I do? THEY WON’T STOP TEXTING! I try to be understanding, as many of my friends are busy and this is their attempt to keep in touch and connect. But after 5 minutes of long-winded texts and having to correct Siri’s every other word, my replies become curt. Or worse, they never hear from him again.
Moral of the story: if you want the best of Sujeiry, pick up the phone, people! My dating days are over, so I shouldn’t have to engage in constant texting. If this continues, all you’ll see is this: