I often look back at my past relationships and think, “What the hell was I thinking?!” George was a short, Fidel-loving Puerto Rican who was still attached to his momma’s nipple. As soon as he’d see me, he’d jump my bones, humping my leg like a dog in heat. As for his lack of attention span, it must have been due to his ADHD. I may not be a licensed psychologist but I know a hyperactive man when I see one.
Then there was Mark – a 6-foot tall, hot Japanese/Puerto Rican who was a filmmaker by trade and a loco in the head. Two months after casually dating, Mark called me from Los Angeles. I fled the South Bronx after spending a weekend in jail, he informed. And that was the end of that.
Last but not least was The Twin. We never actually went on a date, but I had a great time ignoring his late night phone calls and last minute date requests. I am not a booty call, thank you very much. And how dare you demand that I meet you on St. Nicholas RIGHT NOW? I am a busy, sophisticated lady, not a chola!
No offense to cholas.
I can go on and on about my frivolous romantic affairs. Really, I can go on and on and on. I am ashamed to admit that I have settled for men who were not of my caliber. Call me an elitist but a man without a college degree is usually missing a few screws in the head and bucks in the wallet. Not to say an educated man is any better. Johnny had a degree from Cornell University and was as loopy as they come (he went by four names, Pepitas! Each name depicting an “era” in his life.). Bottomline, degree or no degree, these kind of men are not to be taken seriously.
Still, I do not regret any of these “relationship.” Each and every frivolous moment taught me something about myself. Most importantly, these casual relationships that are “just for fun” helped me clarify what I deserve, desire, and will demand in a relationship. It’s all growing pain, folks, and so I am grateful for George and his exhausting sexual energy; Mark and his depressing moods; The Twin and his ignorant arrogance; and Johnny’s many personalities. Thank you for teaching me about who I am. Thank you for veering me down a love path where I won’t be with any of you.