Have you ever wanted something so desperately just because of the challenge? You may desire to bite into that bittersweet, forbidden fruit.
Some women go to great lengths to attain the unattainable. But do we really want what we can’t have?
Jessica, a 23-year-old from Pasadena, CA, thinks so. “It just becomes so much more desirable,” she said. “It’s like when we were younger and our parents said we couldn’t have something, like candy, it makes us want to be mischievous and go to lengths to get some more.” And Jessica speaks from experience. When in a relationship that her parents disapproved of she’d come up with elaborate lies to spend the night at her man’s place. “Once they started letting me, I found myself spending more night at home.”
Hilary, a 20-year-old from South Hills, CA, believes that women who want what they can’t have won’t be happy if and when they get it. She caught her last boyfriend after chasing him for months. Only to realize that the chase is much more fun.
“It felt great once I got it,” Hilary shared. “Then I got bored and realized it wasn’t too much of a challenge, and looked for something else. It becomes this never-ending loop.”
So what is this fascination with attaining the almost unattainable? Kim, a 24-year-old from the LA neighborhood of Silverlake, believes it’s about standing out from the crowd. “The way I see it is if anyone can have it, I’m just as ordinary as anyone else,” she reasoned. “It doesn’t make me special in any way.”
But playing this game can be dangerous. You can lose the love of a good man, or remain in an unbalanced and unhealthy relationship just for the chase. Ellie, a 23-year-old from Sylmar, CA, chased a guy for months. He was completely wrong for her. “I still wanted him,” she admitted. When they began dating, she stayed in the relationship despite their many problems because she had chased him for so long.”I was expecting a payoff…and it never came.”
As for the lesson for Ellie, she realizes that she may have missed out on a great relationship because of her laser focus on the wrong guy. “You may end up going for a man who may be wrong for you,” she said. “The guy that is there and waiting gets over looked, just because you can easily have him.”
Moral of the story: be careful who and what you chase, or you may live an unfulfilled life. As 20-year-old Gabrielle from Whittier, CA said, “If you always want what you can’t have, you will never be satisfied in a relationship.”
And that’s just not very sweet.
Erynn Castellanos is an aspiring radio broadcaster with an opinion on all things love. Currently going through the trials of most twenty somethings, she balances life and relationships and knows what she wants. Her articles on LoveSujeiry.com tie in her personal experiences while exploring the early stages of dating and the single life.
Photo Credit: Flickr.com/Djvass.