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When Your Family Tries to Pray Your Singlehood Away

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When Your Family Tries to Pray Your Singlehood Away

Their family is dying for them to find Mister Right (or Mister Anyone) before their wombs rot.

When you’re single and in your 20s family seems to count down the days until you’re married and making babies. If your family isn’t keeping a tally of your singlehood, they are either praying that your single spell is “cured” or trying to summon you a husband, 2.5 kids and a house with a white-picket fence.

Can you relate? If so, relish in the stories of four single women whose familia‘s are dying for them to find Mister Right (or Mister Anyone) before their wombs rot.

PLUS: My Entire Family Keeps Asking, “When Are You Having a Baby?”

Kam and her Godson/Boyfriend

funny baby

At 23 years old, Kam’s parents are worried about her non-existing partner. Recently, she went over to her parent’s house to visit her mom and sister. “My mom is dying for me to get myself a guy,” Kam shared. “She tells me I’m going to die alone and bitter if I don’t find someone.”

So you can imagine her surprise when Kam’s sister announced from the doorway, “Kam, your boyfriend stopped by earlier!” Kam froze as her mother turned her head slowly toward her with a smile as wide at the Grand Canyon. Kam’s sister realized her mistake, but the damage had already been done.

“I meant Godson! He came by with his mom and she wanted to ask you –” Kam’s mother cut in, “I knew it. I knew it.” Kam couldn’t escape her sister’s Freudian Slip.

“I can tell your father I was right and you’ll be fine,” her mother concluded happily.

Now, Kam’s entire family is plotting her wedding. “My mom’s done everything but taken me dress shopping,” Kam said. And her mother can’t wait to meet her “future son-in-law,” who so happens to be Kam’s God Son. There is no explaining to her mom that “her boyfriend” is actually a baby.

Alma and the “He”

bitch please gay guy

Alma is single and ready to mingle, but so not ready for her parents to butt into her dating life. Alma’s parents disagree and constantly ask her if she has found her husband at work yet. “The answer’s always no, but they don’t seem to listen,” Alma shared. Alma’s dating life is so top secret her parents believe she is either asexual or sneaking out with men when she claims to be with friends.

One day, Alma went on a lunch date with an old friend – a gay male – and visited her mother afterward. Recalling her time at lunch, Alma said, “he made me laugh so hard.” Her mom, who was putting away groceries, turned her head so fast she may have gotten whiplash. She focused on the word “he” with such happiness that she was devastated to discover ‘he was into other “he’s.”

“I don’t think my mother has forgiven me for that one,” Alma admitted.

Rosie & Grandma

Im gay

Rosie visited her grandmother in Southern California and brought along her gay best friend, Robert. When introducing himself to Rosie’s G-Ma, he politely asked to use the restroom. Rosie’s grandmother then exclaimed, “A boyfriend! How grand.” Rosie had to put out the fire fast.

“No, grandma. He’s gay. He can’t be my boyfriend.”

“Gay? He can’t be gay,” Rosie’s grandma struggled to understand. Robert then emerged from the restroom and asked Grandma  if he could take Rosie out for lunch the following day. “Of course, young man. You can take my granddaughter out on a date.”

The next day when Rosie returned from her lunch date with Robert Grandma asked, “Did he pay?”

“Yes, but –” Rosie muttered.

“He is the perfect gentleman for you!” Grandma interrupted, “you are so lucky you didn’t end up like me.” Grandma is deliriously happy and still thinks Robert and Rosie are dating.

Christina & the Dog

Funny dog frozen

Wanting a girl’s best friend, Christina looked to adopt a dog from her local animal shelter. The catch? She needed her father’s permission to house the dog while Christina stayed with her parents.

She attempted to present her rehearsed speech, but fear took over and she simply asked, “Can I get a dog?” Her father looked at Christina like she had two heads. “A dog? What for?” he asked.

“Well, they say a dog is man’s best friend –”

MORE: Single Women Feel Societal Pressure to Be In a Relationship

“Best friend? You don’t need a dog, you need a husband. Your mother is my best friend. I don’t need a dog. You need a boyfriend.” OUCH. To this day, Christina has neither.

Do you have a story to share about being pressured into marriage and motherhood? Share below! 

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Ashley is a California-based writer with a love for pop culture and all things nature. When she isn't soaking up the California sun, she's writing and working on her newest creative endeavor. A self-proclaimed introvert, she writes about loving yourself as a woman, finding the right person to love all aspects you, and how to cherish all the love that is received from friends and family.


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