Back in the olden days a merry man would kick up his heels and ask ma’ lady to join her in a dosi-do. Now he starts up his Blackberry/Android/iPhone and asks, “Do you have Facebook?” Most women whip out their gadgets while nodding their heads, pressing the Facebook app icon seconds after the request. It seems safe enough. After all, everyone has a Facebook profile. No harm done, right?
Here are the unwritten rules of friending when dealing with (potential) romantic partners:
- Facebook Friending At First Sight: This is a no-no. You don’t know this man and are giving him access to photos, relationships updates and your inner most thoughts. He doesn’t need to know what you ate for dinner. He doesn’t need to learn of potential bowel movements, work drama and lady woes. By perusing your FB profile, he just might! You added him as a friend and now he is learning about you at a much faster rate. He won’t feel the need to call or take you out because he’s too busy commenting on your photos and talking to you on Facebook chat. So, when he asks if you have a Facebook, hide your gadget and say you are selective with whom you accept as a “friend.” If he’s really interested, he will respect your choice and ask for your number instead.
- Facebook Friending When Dating: This one’s a little tricky because you’re still getting to know each other. Also, he may be dating other women who may comment on his Facebook photos. Reading, “Can’t wait to see you!” can be a bit of a buzz kill when you really like a guy. Then again, this information can tell women a lot about a potential boyfriend. If he has 400 friends and they’re all female, your man is quite popular with the ladies. It doesn’t mean he’s had sex with all of them, but he is definitely a flirt. Not every woman can handle that. So should you or should you not accept his friend request if you are dating? It all depends on how much you really want to know. Knowing may be half the battle but it can also lead to assumptions and kill a relationship before it begins.
- Facebook Friending A Booty Call: Don’t do it! A booty call is casual and strictly about booty, so there is no need to know who he hangs out with, what he does on weekends and how he feels throughout the day. Your only concern should be sex. If you’re curious about his Facebook profile or are stalking his limited page, then you want more, which means you’re in trouble.
- Facebook Friending Your Boyfriend: This is…complicated. Plenty of couples are Facebook “friends,” even selecting each other as significant others.Then there are those who rather keep their Facebook lives private. Not every woman can handle reading comments from other woman on their boyfriend’s wall. It doesn’t mean there’s something happening, but it can lead to questioning motives and a lack of trust from both parties involved. However, if a man refuses to add his girlfriend as a friend (or vice versa), that is a red flag. He may just hiding something.
So, is it safer to kick up your heels and do-si-do on the dance floor or add your a man as a Facebook friend? If you can deal with having full access to your (potential) partner or lover’s every move, get to adding. Just realize that there can be negative affects to being inside his head at all times.