The Cloud. I don’t give it access to my photos and such for one reason only – exes. The Cloud won’t let me or you forget them. Why just recently I spotted some photos of my boyfriends ex-girlfriends on his computer.
“But I deleted them all months ago,” he said.
“It’s the Cloud. It never really deletes anything,” I responded dramatically.
It’s true, you know. The Cloud’s purpose is to store all the shit you collect on your phone and computer even if you don’t want it anymore. The Cloud is a hoarder that needs to be on an extreme episode of “Hoarders.” You can delete memories of past relationships but the Cloud will never ever let you forget them. Ever! So much so that Taylor Swift should write a lovelorn song entitled, “Damn you, Cloud!” She so edgy now.
Alas, I am not the only gal that has been pummeled with past pics, texts and emails due to iCloud. Jenn, a single gal from Salt Lake City, inspired this post when she said this on Facebook:
“iCloud or anything techy makes it almost impossible to forget someone. Typing in an email addy. Dart to the heart. FB mutual friend post. Daft to the heart. If only I can send an email to iGod. ‘Dear iGod, it’s me Jenn. Please delete anything from my accounts, iPad, laptop, computer and heart that reminds me of him. Him, too. Oh yeah, and him, too. Love ya. Thanks.”
So the Cloud isn’t the only culprit. God is. Kidding. I blame Apple, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg for their incessant intrusion and need to keep us connected. I don’t need my ex from 2002 to like my photos on Instagram. I don’t want my ex from 2006 to continue to stalk me on my Facebook fan page. And I definitely don’t need to see any of Boo’s exes on his computer’s “Photos” folder.
I hate you Cloud. I will continue to disable you when you attempt to lure me with your pop up messages. No, I said no, dammit! I don’t want you to store my shitty exes. Ever. Ever. Ever!