Many women confuse a man’s good manners with being “thirsty.” I have heard numerous men complain about this – how they are polite to a woman and said woman gets pissed off. She thinks he’s another thirsty man dying for some attention, or that he’s trying to get in her pants.
One of my girlfriends even shared that she thought a guy she went on a date with was “too nice.” I asked her to explain and she said, “He got me flowers, I hate flowers. And he pulled out my chair for me like we are living in the 1950’s! Ugh, he’s just too thirsty!”
Are you kidding me?! I thought, flabbergasted. I would love to get flowers from a man, even if they weren’t my favorite. A guy pulling out a chair for me? OMG, men still do that these days?! Where can I find this guy so he can take me out on a date?! Does he have a brother?!
What’s crazy is that this mentality is common among women. So many of us complain that we have a hard time finding a “nice guy,” yet when one literally appears we complain he’s trying too hard. But there is a difference! Here are six ways to know if he’s being a gentleman or if he’s as thirsty as the Sahara Desert.
1. He sends you a good morning text.
Nice Guy: He may be sending a good morning text to everyone on his contact list. But, chances are he’s showing you he actually cares about you.
Thirsty Guy: “Good morning sexy, what are you wearing?” Delete him from your contacts right away! He desperately needs a drink.
2. He opens the door for you.
Nice Guy: Whether it’s a car door or a restaurant door, trust that he’s being polite.
Thirsty Guy: If he is side eyeing the booty, however, he’s thirsty.
3. He brings you flowers or offers to pay for a date.
Nice Guy: When a man is being chivalrous he wants to show you he appreciates you. So let him! Whether he buys you coffee, a rose, or treats you to a nice meal, let him express how he cares about you in the manner that he enjoys.
Thirsty Guy: On a first date he buys you lingerie or a sex toy, or takes you to a porn convention. Get that man a bucket of ice water immediately!
4. He tells you that you are beautiful or compliments your outfit.
Nice Guy: Trust that he’s being sincere. Chances are he’s so enamored by your beauty that he’s probably a little nervous about your date. Let him compliment you and don’t forget to say thank you.
Thirsty Guy: “Damn girl, you look fine as hell with yo’ sexy self!” Abort date, abort mission! Clearly, his thirst has clouded his judgment because he thinks his compliment is respectful.
5. He calls you the same day he gets your number and stays in contact.
Nice Guy: No matter what you think is “normal” regarding texting or calling, it is okay for him to contact you that same day he gets the digits. It shows initiative and that he’s genuinely interested in getting to know you.
Thirsty Guy: He texts you at least a dozen times even when you don’t reply. He calls – during booty call hour.
6. He walks you to your door after a date.
Nice Guy: This is a sweet sign of chivalry as he wants to assure you make it home safely. This is also a great moment to kiss him goodnight or invite him in, if you like.
Thirsty Guy: He is pressuring you to invite him in. Always remember: you don’t “owe” him sex for his supposed “chivalry.”
Dating is hard enough without limiting how nice a guy should be. So don’t confuse his politeness for weakness – or thirst. Let him shower you with sweet attention. Let him be chivalrous. Enjoy being treated like the lovely woman that you are.