On February 1st, I relocated from LA to NYC. I was back in the city that never sleeps, excited to begin my new professional journey. You see, I was selected to appear on a reality TV show. I, along other single women from the tristate area, were to date men and be matched with our “perfect match.” And expose it all on national television.
So you can imagine my shock when I go to my first production meeting and I am told that I have to marry my match…before meeting or speaking with him. They expected the women selected to walk down the aisle and marry men we knew nothing about. And expose it all on national television. My mind swirled. I felt sick to my stomach. Can I do this? WIll I take the chance (and the check)? Is it worth it?
For a while, I thought it was.
I agreed to move forward and was set to be matched. It was crazy, yes, but I didn’t want to give up my dream to be on a national television show. I wanted it so bad. I still do. Turning it down was the toughest decision I have ever made professionally. But I did. Because I want it to be right.
The lesson here: don’t lose your integrity in love and life. I deserve to be courted by a man, to build a foundation and a partnership based on respect, integrity, love, adoration and trust. We deserve this. And I pride myself on practicing what I preach. I pride myself on being authentic and relatable. I expose my dating woes and my hopes for love and commitment to all of you so you learn from my mistakes as we take this journey together. Moving forward with the show would have proved otherwise. It would go against all that I am and have worked so hard for.
So here I am in NYC. I am back in the city that never sleeps with my integrity in tact but with some remorse of what could have been.