by Christy Goldstein
Single women often make lists of what they want and don’t want in a man and a relationship. But do those actually work, or are they turning away possible love matches because of these extensive lists?
I have seen a lot of women pass up good men because they are too short, have the wrong hair color, or are overweight. They reject every man that comes their way because they do not match their list to a tee.
If this sounds familiar, this may be why you are still single. But you don’t have to be! Screw the list and take a chance on someone who may be two inches shorter than what you want. After all, it can’t hurt to give it a try.
Using Dealbreaker Lists Effectively
Lists can work to an extent. Just don’t use them as an “all or nothing” type deal. Many of the things on your checklists are unattainable. To think that one person will have fifty to a hundred things on your list is insane! What would you do if the men started making a checklist? How would you feel if the guy you wanted rejected you because you didn’t fit his criteria? Wouldn’t you feel low about yourself?
Focusing on Personality Traits
You should desire someone who possesses great qualities, such as kindness, generosity, and courteousness. But to add height, weight, job title or hair color on your list of dealbreakers won’t work out 99% of the time.
Know Your Serious Nonnegotiable’s
There will always be dealbreakers and that is fine. Dating checklists is how we realize what we desire from a partner. And some should be nonnegotiable. For example, you may want to cut your losses if a guy doesn’t have a college degree. Education may be very important to you. Or maybe you don’t want to be a stepmother, so you do not date men who have children.
In a nutshell, to include the superficial reasons on why you won’t date someone will render you single for a long time.
Tell us. What’s on your dating checklist? Share your thoughts!