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Dating a Dick? Here’s One Way to Dump Him

Dicks by Mail Gummy Candy
DicksbyMail.com.

Ay Love!

Dating a Dick? Here’s One Way to Dump Him

Did he dump you over text? Is the guy you’re dating a jerk? Send him a dick by mail.

There was a time where I really wanted to get even with a man who broke my heart. We dated for three months and I found out he was cheating with his ex-girlfriend. Or I was his mistress unknowingly. It was a mess, I tell ya! Nonetheless, the jerk crushed me and my faith in men. I didn’t know how to move on and really wanted to hurt him as badly as he hurt me.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have many options that wouldn’t lead to jail time. Say no to slashing tires! I didn’t do it and neither should you. What did I do instead? I let it go and healed all on my own.

PLUS: Dating Fatigue? 7 Signs You’re Dating Too Much

Now, heartbroken women can take matters into their hands sans a criminal record when dating a dick. I’m talking about Dicks by Mail, a company that delivers a bag of gummy dick candies to the jerk who made you cry. Yes, this is real! For only $15 plus shipping costs, you can ship a bag of gummy dicks to any a-hole anonymously. Here’s how it works:

  • You choose your target, get his mailing address, and spend the $15 plus shipping costs.
  • The package contains a 5oz bag of delicious gummy candy penises.
  • The piece of resistance is the note written in Kanye-caps: ‘EAT A BAG OF DICKS.’

The dick will receive this precious gift and message in no time, and you will remain anonymous. The guy who dumped you over text or cheated, or the loser just stopped calling won’t even know what hit him!

So if you can’t move on without the last laugh, this may be the way to go. It beats catching a case and it may feel as good as burning his clothes ala Angela Bassett in “Waiting to Exhale.” Maybe.

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of LoveSujeiry.com. She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto LoveSujeiry.com - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on Latina.com works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.

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