There was a time where I really wanted to get even with a man who broke my heart. We dated for three months and I found out he was cheating with his ex-girlfriend. Or I was his mistress unknowingly. It was a mess, I tell ya! Nonetheless, the jerk crushed me and my faith in men. I didn’t know how to move on and really wanted to hurt him as badly as he hurt me.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have many options that wouldn’t lead to jail time. Say no to slashing tires! I didn’t do it and neither should you. What did I do instead? I let it go and healed all on my own.
Now, heartbroken women can take matters into their hands sans a criminal record when dating a dick. I’m talking about Dicks by Mail, a company that delivers a bag of gummy dick candies to the jerk who made you cry. Yes, this is real! For only $15 plus shipping costs, you can ship a bag of gummy dicks to any a-hole anonymously. Here’s how it works:
- You choose your target, get his mailing address, and spend the $15 plus shipping costs.
- The package contains a 5oz bag of delicious gummy candy penises.
- The piece of resistance is the note written in Kanye-caps: ‘EAT A BAG OF DICKS.’
The dick will receive this precious gift and message in no time, and you will remain anonymous. The guy who dumped you over text or cheated, or the loser just stopped calling won’t even know what hit him!
So if you can’t move on without the last laugh, this may be the way to go. It beats catching a case and it may feel as good as burning his clothes ala Angela Bassett in “Waiting to Exhale.” Maybe.