Connect with us

I Date Men Who Are Mentally and Physically Abusive Because #MeToo

woman bruised abusive relationship

Ay Love!

I Date Men Who Are Mentally and Physically Abusive Because #MeToo

It was a classic case of victim mentality in a sexual-abuse peer situation. And it is difficult to admit as I have yet to deal with what happened to 12-year-old Jeanine.

I’m trying to figure out why I make such shity decisions in relationships. Why I choose men who are either physically, verbally or psychologically abusive. Due to this, I suffer from poor self-esteem and a fear of rejection. Overall, I feel men pretty much suck and I am left wondering why I just can’t get love right.

Dating Advice and Course for WomenBefore you ask, my father is in my life and he has always been an amazing man and husband. My mother and my father have been married for 30 year and counting. My parents are my role models when it comes to love and relationships. Yet I have failed miserably when trying to obtain what they have.

So I am taking a deeper look at what steered me wrong way and continues to do so. What impacted me so negatively that I found myself in an abusive relationship at just 17 years old? I thought back and thought hard, and at 2am one night, I busted out into tears as the reason for my dysfunction hit me like a ton of bricks.


At 12 years old, Jason was my crush and absolute favorite. He was a bit of a bad boy and somehow, I was assigned a seat next to him in homeroom class. We started chatting everyday and eventually, we were inseparable. Jason had gained my trust.

Soon, he started cornering me in the back of the classroom and wherever he could catch me alone. That’s when he sexually assaulted me. He touched me inappropriately. Daily. He’d boldly say sexually inappropriate and explicit things to me that I have yet to hear as an adult woman.

PLUS: Sujeiry Reveals a Sexual Assault

“Don’t tell anyone,” Jason would say. “I do this because I like you.”

I felt confused. I liked him so much and I didn’t want him to get into any trouble because of me. So I kept quiet and it got worse.

I started to feel more and more sick about his sexual assaults. Although I liked him still, I did not like what he was doing. I didn’t feel sexual or want to be sexual. At the young age of 12, I didn’t comprehend that what he was doing was wrong and that this was not love.

One day, I felt so overwhelmed I finally told my parents what was happening. They took me straight to the principal’s office and reported it. I felt completely guilty. I was so worried he would be mad at me and that he would confront me. And he did. My school did nothing to protect me. So, Jason used this to his advantage, telling me he knew I made a complaint about him but that it was okay; he still loved me. He kissed me on the cheek. I felt relieved that he had forgiven me for telling on him.

He sexually assaulted me and I was afraid to hurt his feelings. And, although I saw him daily the years that followed, he never showed me the same kind of attention.

MORE: I Was Obsessed with Brujos and Knowing My Romantic Future

I thought about him for at least another year. Although the sexual assaults were no longer happening, he had a psychological effect on me every time I saw him. I felt trapped between my hurt feelings and still thinking it was love. I didn’t know then, but I really needed some major therapy to work out my feelings on what happened and why I had conflicting feelings towards him. Now I understand that it’s a classic case of victim mentality in a sexual-abuse peer situation. As I write this now, it is difficult to admit because I have yet to deal with what happened to 12-year-old Jeanine.

Continue Reading
Jeanine Cruz

Jeanine is a self-proclaimed dating mishap expert. This Pisces often dips her creative toes in arts and culture, and has a passion for spoken word, playwriting, creative writing, and lyrical writing. As a native New Yorker living in Orlando, FL, Jeanine has a unique perspective on city and beach life. Her extensive Sociology and Higher Education background allows her to see dating, love, and women’s empowerment issues from various viewpoints as she adds a twist of humor and lessons learned to her stories.


More in Ay Love!

Get Love In Your Inbox

Sign up for the Love Sujeiry newsletter and receive a free chapter of Dating RITE. Plus, stay in the know on all things love, including videos, articles, merch and events.
Email address
Secure and Spam free...






  • Happy Saturday! toddlermomlife parkfun toddlerboy happyson latinamom
  • No lie I can spend 4 hours in Marshalls
  • I believe that the way to live life is to
  • Evan you fill me with a love thats Godly So
  • Hey spring Saturday! Dassit lol Dress nyandcompany Shoes tjmaxx nodeepthoughtstoday
  • When docsabia texts and says Lets go enter eventactivity! I
  • In my 20s I daydreamed about riding down Ocean Drive
  • ANNOUNCEMENT! Im getting my head out of my ass and

Latina TV

To Top