“I always say thank you to Boo,” I said to my friend Vicky after stuffing my face with this chocolately goodness.
That’s a calzone stuffed with graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate, and it’s sweetness got me thinking about speaking lovingly to our romantic partners.
“It’s so important to acknowledge the little things that your partner does for you and your relationship,” Vicky added. And she’s right. A kind word, a “thank you” for taking out the trash, or a “I really appreciate how hard your working for me and our soon-to-be born baby boy,” like I mentioned to Boo just last week, boosts your relationships love factor.
“I do it without even thinking,” I continued to share with Vicky, “It’s just second nature to make him feel good, tell him how much I love him and appreciate his love and kindness.” Vicky nodded in agreement and we continued to dish on how easy it is to compliment a significant other.
It has never been difficult for me to motivate and inspire others to be their best. Even when I feel like I’ve been let down by loved ones – and yes, even ex-boyfriends – I’ve managed to get past my hurt and see the good in them.
When I love you I don’t lash out to hurt you when I am in pain. Instead I take a step back and choose my words carefully.
I haven’t always been this way. I am an Aries, and if you know anything about my zodiac sign, then you know we’re feisty, impulsive and quick-tempered. We are blunt and assertive, and our words can cut like daggers. This is actually what I use to look like when upset.
It took me years to mince my words. Not only did I have to learn to say things in a different manner (while still remaining true to myself), but I also had to learn when to say things, especially in relationships. Timing, my loves, is everything.
So, how do you speak kindly and lovingly to your guy (or girl) when you’re fuming? It’s hard to see past the anger, to see past your feelings, wants and needs. But, if I can do it anyone can! Really. This use to be me.
Start by noting the little things your partner does for you. Whether it’s in your household or for your kids (if you have any) how does he contribute? If he never washes dishes (ever!) but always picks you up from work, or pays for dinner, thank him for the things he does do.
Say I love you every day. This is easy. Because you should love your bae! You don’t have to like him every day. Boo has habits that annoy the living shit out of me sometimes. But, I love him with every fiber of my being, and I tell him so daily.
Acknowledge his awesome qualities. So maybe he doesn’t do much around the house and just naps after work. You fell in love with him. You chose him. As difficult as it might be to see them sometimes, he has qualities that you love. Pinpoint them when complimenting him. It can be as simple as, “you’re so funny,” or “you look great today.” Tell him the things that you love about him. Make him feel as deliciously yummy as my s’more calzone. It’ll do your relationship a world of good.