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Calculated Cohabitation: Millennial Couples Plan Ahead

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Calculated Cohabitation: Millennial Couples Plan Ahead

Melissa, a coupled up millennial, explains why she shacked up after only 2 months of dating.

Millennial couples are shacking up much sooner, and for far different reasons than previous generations. Their decision-making process is geared toward financial stability and convenience rather than love, marriage and children. Some might think that Millennials are setting themselves up for failure by moving in for all the wrong reasons and far sooner than what’s considered logical. Is this true? Does it really strengthen your relationship to wait years before moving in with your boo as opposed to the first couple months?

With a 50% divorce rate in the United States, Generation X and Baby Boomers haven’t left Millennials with a successful game plan for relationships. Yet, they think we’re crazy for shacking up prior to the “I do.” Instead of finding fault in our calculated cohabitation, grab a glass of wine and listen to this millennial expert teach you a thing or two.

PLUS: Why Millennial Women Say No to Traditional Family Values

I moved in with my current boyfriend only 2 months after dating him. Neither of us signed the lease anticipating a fairytale, beachfront wedding in our near future. In fact, we met each other wasted at a bar and consummated our 2-hour relationship in a camper parked on the side of the road. We argued – I got bit by a thousand mosquitos – and I even had to ask what his name was the next morning. On our second date, two days later, he returned the crusty thong I’d left behind accidentally. Far from fairytale, if you ask me.

So, why move in together after 2 months? Well, our lives were in shambles: we were in our mid-20’s living at home with our parents, and our careers put us right around the poverty line. Oh ya, we also genuinely liked each other. After 2 months of laughter, chemistry and car sex, we decided to join forces and build a life together from scratch. Crazy? Absolutely! Huge risk? 100%. Current result 3 months later? Not too shabby.

It’s working for us because we had to step up to the plate from day 1 and work together as a team. In 2 short months we made a HUGE life decision together, faced a number of financial challenges, and accepted loads of responsibility, which has forced us to over-communicate, compromise, and be considerate of each other every day. We’ve had no choice but to be mature in our relationship and make decisions based off what’s best for the both of us. Our relationship has been built on equality, smart decision making, and team work, and that’s created a loving connection that gets stronger daily.

On the flip side, when a couple waits years before moving in together they’ll most likely experience a shift in their relationship due to the challenges that come along with cohabitation. You might learn shocking and disappointment things about your partner you never would have discovered prior to living together. Sometimes, the change is too much to bare and the relationship cannot survive. My boyfriend and I knew that since we were practically strangers we were bound to face numerous struggles about each other’s personalities and living habits. But, we accepted these challenges from the get-go and agreed to face everything honestly and openly. It’s helped us grow as individuals and strengthened our bond.

MORE: Love Through the Ages: Loving at 20 Something

We’re sort of killing two birds with one stone. We’ve finally got our own apartment, our rent is now super affordable, we have someone to split the bills with, and our love grows stronger with each passing day. Our calculated cohabitation is working and I don’t regret it for a second. #PowerCouple

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Melissa is a writer from Long Beach, California who aims to bring out the humor and horror in modern-day dating. She believes there's no sugar-coating romance, and her writing brings out the raw reality of the millennial fight for normalcy in a virtual hook-up generation. When not poking fun at her numerous dating misfortunes, Melissa is often playing volleyball, attending concerts and cooking fantastic meals.


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