Like many of us today, I found much of my information about the love of my life on Facebook. His new profile picture with another woman was pretty much advertising his infidelity. Like a freak show, I couldn’t look away. I had to know who this absolutely hideous creature was and more importantly, why was my man with her? I was in total shock and disbelief that my judgement could be so poor. After all, I was planning a life with this man, and now this! What kind of monster would do this to me, someone he supposedly “loves?”
We lived thousands of miles apart so I knew he would call and give me his daily dose of promises, reassurances and lies. Needless to say, when he called me later in the day, I confronted him. And, like any skilled sociopath, he turned the entire situation around on me, made me feel insane and then had the nerve to break up with me! HE WAS CHEATING, not ME! My mind quickly turned back to the skank from the picture. She had to know about me, she had to know he had a girlfriend, right!?
I spent far too long creeping on this girl’s social media. I was positive that she was publically posting things for my benefit. She wanted the entire world to know just how in love they were. Then came the photos of the two of them together with her constant commentary. I could not stop looking. I was driving myself into a state of madness. I was spending all of my time trying to learn everything about her. I needed to know why he would choose her over me.
Then I realized that when a man cheats on you, it’s less about the other woman and more about who he is as a man.
He was in a committed relationship with me and he betrayed me. My obsession with the other woman was actually blinding me from the real issue which was that the person I had loved, trusted and provided for had discarded me liked trash. Once I understood this I was able to begin the process of moving on. Plus, there’s karma. They say, “if he cheats with her, he will cheat on her.” He tried contacting me on and off over the past two years but I have moved on. I knew he was still with the other woman.
Recently, I received an email from her in my Facebook inbox. It was a very angry message and seemed to come from nowhere. I felt this was my chance to let her have it but instead I responded with three words that I never thought I would say: “I forgive you.” She didn’t apologize that day but in my heart I knew I had this woman to thank for removing this toxic human being from my life.