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How to Be Thankful for Every Love Lesson and Painful Mistake

Sujeiry By The Beach - Latina Assumptions
Nydia Mata.

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How to Be Thankful for Every Love Lesson and Painful Mistake

In life, be thankful for painful mistakes. Here is how I find gratitude in love lessons.

“Ouch! That hurts!” I yell. Stubbing your toe always does. I bend over to rub my tiny stump. In my line of sight, right under my dresser, I spot my ivory statement necklace that I’ve searched for for weeks. If I hadn’t been extra clumsy that day, I wouldn’t have mashed my little piggy, and I wouldn’t have discovered my favorite piece of jewelry. My toe still throbbed, but that’s the silver lining: there are blessings within painful mistakes. They’re to be thanked.

The same goes for relationship drama and hurt. Often times even when we know a relationship should be over, we are too afraid to let go. Instead of being thankful of the end, we hold on, we resist change.

When I knew Paco and I needed to breakup I held on to the hope that he would become the man that would meet my needs. But he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. Who he is and who I am just don’t click. Still, I held onto the pain. I replayed our breakup in my head as if it were a scene from a horror movie that I couldn’t turn away from. And I hate horror movies.

“The lack of connection between us was almost unbearable,” Paco spat out.

He was so nonchalant. Cold. Detached. As if we hadn’t been in a year-long relationship. His words cut me like a machete that had been sharpened for days.

“So being around me is unbearable,” I replied, my words as sharp as his.

“That’s not what I meant,” he backtracked.

ALSO READ: I’ve Become The Girl Who Just Wants to Be With Her Man

But it was. And he was right. I couldn’t admit it then. Paco and I didn’t work. There was no emotional connection, no depth. Once I was over the situation (not him – there was nothing to get over) and I realized the error of my ways (and not just his), I felt fortunate to have been with Paco. Without that experience I wouldn’t have discovered what I cannot do without in a relationship. I would have thought that desiring affection was frivolous and would have accepted a detached love. I thank Paco for showing me what I don’t want in a man, in a relationship. I thank myself for giving it my all and for throwing in the towel right on time, because 6 months after our breakup I was cast to be part of The Love Experiment AKA “Married at First Sight.”

The show brought me back to New York City with the promise of being a star on national television and helping me find love. Once they divulged that we would have to marry a stranger, I turned it down. I was devastated. I didn’t know what was next for me professional or personally. I had banked on that opportunity. I felt lost and fell into a deep depression for two months. Yet I am grateful for that dark time and for being cast on the show. Without it I wouldn’t have discovered who in my life truly has my back in the toughest times. Due to the show I realized that I needed to focus on LoveSujeiry.com and use my television opportunities for promotional tools, not as the be all end all to my success.

And I did find love. All this time, when I was chasing bad boys and stumbling through love, the love of my life was in Long Island. If I wouldn’t have said yes to “Married at First Sight,” I would have remained in Los Angeles as I only relocated to NYC for the show.

So take this time to thank all those moments that you loathe. Whether you’re going through a gut-wrenching breakup or feel alone in life and desperately lost, there is a lesson in all of it. Find the silver living. There may just be a piece of treasure waiting for you at the end of all that pain.

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of LoveSujeiry.com. She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto LoveSujeiry.com - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on Latina.com works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.

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