“I think we’re the same person, except I have a beard and a bigger jawline,” he said to me while having drinks at the same bar we met two months prior.
He was right; he was my Mini Me. We basically had the same personality. Same taste in music, same values, same sense of humor, same sense of self. So I wasn’t surprised when he text me how much he cared while I was away for a weekend in Boston.
“I’m at our bar, come kiss me.”
“We’d make a pretty good looking couple,” he told me later that day.
“I agree,” I responded, hopeful. I wanted to be with him.
“Well, maybe it’s a conversation we could have when you get back, maybe at our bar?” Mini Me gushed. I screamed on the inside. He was ready to commit to me. And I was so excited to be his girl.
Back in NYC again and we got together to watch a movie, order food and cuddle on his couch. This is what I want everyday, I thought. Yet we never had “the talk.” It’s coming soon, I reassured myself as he kissed me three times before saying, “See you next time.”
The next morning I didn’t wake up to a “good morning” text from Mini Me. Strange. He often had trouble sleeping so every morning I’d peruse the texts, memes, selfies and songs he’d sent me throughout the night. It had become our routine. That morning there was nothing.
And so I texted him and went about my day. Before leaving my house, I checked my phone — still no answer. He’s probably still sleeping, I thought. I went to class and didn’t check my phone until about 5:00 p.m. — nada.
What’s going on? I wondered. This was so unlike him. I knew something was up. I also knew that I didn’t do anything wrong, so I decided not to contact him. He could reach me if he wanted to. I mean, he would get back to me, right? We’re good, right? We did cuddle and kiss all night so I have nothing to worry about? I tride convincing myself, but in my gut I felt that he was avoiding me.
Mini Me didn’t text me back that night.
“Hey, sorry, was super busy yesterday,” he finally responded the next morning.
“Super busy doing what?” I asked. We always updated each other on our days, why was the day before any different?
He didn’t respond until the next day. And then he stopped responding all together. I saw that he was active on Facebook, yet he wasn’t active in my phone inbox. Mini Me ghosted me. So I decided to stop contacting him as I had initiated almost all of our conversations since things had shifted.
Ghosted. I couldn’t believe it. I felt so unwanted. What did I do to make him not like me anymore? Did I smell the last time we hung out or something? Was there something in my teeth? Was I too boring? I thought he really liked me. I put all of my trust in him, it all seemed so promising. Yet our relationship died abruptly. It felt like a literal death. I imagined we’d get married and build a future together. I had never felt that way about anyone before.
My heart was so heavy. I was so sensitive, I would cry randomly. I couldn’t even eat Chipotle. And Chipotle is my favorite! I remember my mom came home with burrito bowls one day and I rejected the treat, just like Mini Me had rejected me. No explanation. No texts. No respect for my feelings.
I guess we weren’t the same person after all.