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I Won The Bachelor: Bumble Edition

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I Won The Bachelor: Bumble Edition

My 37 matches were only interested in texting. Is it this hard to get a date?

I’ll be the first to admit that I date assholes. Whether online or off, fuckboys gravitate towards me and I welcome them with open arms.

For 2016, I decided I needed to be smarter, stronger and less vulnerable to the toxic charm of these soul-sucking creatures. I figured that app-dating would be the best method to combat singledom while simultaneous dating enough men to recognize the bad from the good. I could have the best of both worlds – serial dating while strategically dwindling down to the most compatible match. But there was one major problem. No one wanted to take me out!

PLUS: Tinder’s Killing Dating Etiquette

Okay, so I went on three dates. My other 37 matches were only interested in texting and linking up via social media. Was it really this hard to get a date? Has app-dating turned into another form of social networking? Are men using us to kill their daily boredom? This is not what I signed up for.

I reached out to a few app-dating women to see if they had similar experiences, and this is what they had to say:

“I was on the app for casual dating but only 10% of my total matches took me on a date. About 70% of the guys I chatted with asked for my phone number, added me on social media, but never took me out.”

“5% of my matches took me out. Majority of the guys I chatted with asked for my phone number and attempted to connect on social media before meeting me. Every single one of them ghosted so I stopped giving my number out until after the first date.”

“I think guys just want to chat with a bunch of different chicks. No one ever has the balls to follow through with a real date.”

“Only 2-5% of my matches took me out on dates. I think the majority of men are looking for a hook up and a confidence boost.”

So clearly I’m not the only girl being toyed with on dating apps. The majority of men could be scoring hundreds of dates if they were actually open to the dating process. Unfortunately they aren’t, which results in a lot of underwhelmed women online. Luckily for me, one of my matches was open to the process and approached app-dating like a boss. We were each other’s first date on Bumble and I’m now fortunate enough to call him my boyfriend.

MORE: Why is His Online Dating Profile Still Up?!

Needless to say, I unknowingly won the Bachelor as our one-on-ones far outweighed those of the other contestants. Now where the hell is my rose?!

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Melissa is a writer from Long Beach, California who aims to bring out the humor and horror in modern-day dating. She believes there's no sugar-coating romance, and her writing brings out the raw reality of the millennial fight for normalcy in a virtual hook-up generation. When not poking fun at her numerous dating misfortunes, Melissa is often playing volleyball, attending concerts and cooking fantastic meals.


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