I once stayed in a bad relationship just so my boyfriend could not move on. I knew the relationship wasn’t working out. I was terrified of breaking up with him to only see him happy with someone else on Facebook. He was neglecting me in our relationship, but I didn’t want to see him treat another woman like a Queen – or hear stories from friends and family about how he’s now the perfect boyfriend.
And that’s exactly what happened.
When I finally had enough and “ended” the relationship (well, not really. He moved out, but he was still coming over for sex.) I found out from a friend that he had met someone else. I flipped my shit. I was having sex with him because I thought he wouldn’t seek out other women! I needed to know more details and asked my friend the usual questions :
“Is she prettier than me? What ethnicity is she? Does he look happy?”
In the end, I realized the answers didn’t matter. I sat down and thought about our relationship, and it dawned on me that we had nothing in common. I hated the way he smelled after guy’s night out, or that I had to pretend I didn’t know the bars closed at 2 a.m. when he came home at 4 a.m.
So, maybe he is the perfect guy for her. Unlike me, she might love cricket and soccer. She might cook him Caribbean food just like he likes it. This also means that the perfect match for me is still out there. I will never again sell myself short for someone who doesn’t fit my personality or my lifestyle. I now know that being afraid to lose someone who isn’t worthy of me is just a waste of time.