When online dating I was guilty of copying the same “About Me” summary and pasting it onto each and every app and site. If a guy were to find me on Match.com, OK Cupid, Plenty of Fish, and How About We (where I met this guy) he’d say, “Damn, she puts no effort into online dating at all.”
Yes, I took the lazy way out. (Sue me!) Don’t we all? But, in 2014 fresh back from a family trip to the Dominican Republic, I decided to change my online dating strategy and created a profile from scratch. Maybe it was all the Brugal that I drank with my sister, Adayna, and Papi. Perhaps I just wanted to show off my sun-kissed skin in a new profile photo. Regardless, I got to work. Days later I was eating tapas and sipping on red wine with Boo, my now fiancé and baby daddy.
Want to follow suit? Here are some ways to clean up your online dating profile for spring, or any season for that matter, courtesy of Zoosk.
“Disinfect” your followers.
There is no better time like the present to delete old messages and winks, and filter out suitors you aren’t interested in dating. Sure, it feels good to get those “you’re beautiful” emails, and it’s scary to be selective, especially when ruling out people you’ve never met, but you should know your deal breakers and the characteristics that you seek in a partner. Take me and Boo, for example. Wanting children was a must for him, and it was for me. If he didn’t want kids and I dated him anyway, it would have been a waste of both of our times. So, eliminate those who won’t fulfill important criteria and save yourself a word of time and heartache. Hone in on those who deserve more of your attention because they can give you what you need.
“Rearrange” your preferences.
Like a floral arrangement, some colors and flowers don’t go together. Overtime you switch this rose out, add a carnation or throw away what has withered away. Same goes when online dating. Your tastes evolve over time so you should think about what you’re looking for in a partner based on your current needs. What you desired last year or the year before that may no longer apply. You’ve grown and learned from past relationships. Adjust your online dating preferences accordingly!
“Sweep” your date off their feet.
A dinner and a movie is played out. When planning a date or if your date asks for a suggestion, think outside the box. But only if it’s past the first date. I always recommend online daters to meet at a coffee shop or at a tapas wine bar for their first meet. That way you’re not stuck eating dinner for hours with someone you’re not into, or watching a movie for 3 hours (though a movie date should only happen when you’re in a relationship!) and not getting to know each other at all.
So, for the second and third date, pay attention to your date’s interests. Does he or she love the great outdoors? Plan a picnic or a climb a local rock climbing wall. If the person loves the arts or is into food, take them to a art or cooking class. Boo knows I love wine and Italian food so he always made sure they were in abundance when we first began dating. This kind of attention to detail proved to me that he took the time to impress me and truly plan for our date.
“Trash” old experiences and heartbreaks.
You can’t live in the past! Trust me, it only holds you back. If you’re still pining over so-and-so (or fulano de tal as Mami would say) try to move on.
“Open up” to online dating again.
If you feel like you just meet are losers and weirdos online, or men you feel no chemistry with, welcome to my old club! Still, keep trying. Let yourself blossom like a spring flower and open up to online dating again. It’s all about timing, and this time may be the right time to find your Mr. Right. It happened to me and it can happen to you.