It was my first year of college and my family decided to gather and host an event in the OC. I sat with a few of my aunts, great aunts, and cousins, drinking, laughing and chatting about my single status – which often comes up – when one of my aunts said: “Don’t marry a Persian man. You’ll end up marrying his mother.
This aunt of mine, who is Persian herself, gave me this piece of advice in front of my Peruvian grandmother, who agreed with her in an effort to spread her pro-Peruvian propaganda.
I was surprised by her statement as my aunt is gentle, loving, and quiet. But, something had been brewing in her that day. Her two adult daughters married non-Persian men not too long before this family gathering. Her job as a mother was complete. She raised strong women who were living their lives – and then there was 18 year old me. She used her advice to save me from the plight she had suffered.
“Don’t marry a Persian man,” she said again.
I laughed it off . My aunt, however, was serious, looking at me straight in the eyes, woman-to-woman. I immediately lost my smile and asked her why.
“They tell you how to cook, how to clean, how to feed their sons. Their sons never grow up into men. You marry babies.”
My Peruvian grandmother laughed herself into a cramp while I let my aunt’s words sink in.
Wait, aren’t most men, despite their cultural background, either independent and grown or needy and childish?
I will say this: Persian men can be a special breed of babies. Culturally, they grow up expecting their mothers, grandmothers, girlfriends, wives – all of them – to serve them. That includes: cooking for them, dressing them, hell, even plucking their eyebrows for them. This, my friends, is your typical Persian man.
Now, if I can find a Persian man who isn’t like this, I might give him a-go. But that hasn’t happened yet. Till then, I won’t take my chances with a Persian man. I want to be a wife and lover, not your effing mother!