Dear Sujeiry and Gonzo,
My man is in jail. I have two kids with him and we’ve been together for six years. At work, I met a guy who has four kids and has been married for 14 years.
I’m supposed to be waiting for my man, but my coworker and I have been hooking up for 6 months now. The sex is amazing. We get along but he always tells me that there’s no strings attached, and asks me if I’m catching feelings. I say no even though I do have feelings for him now.
During sex though, it feels like he also wants more than just sex. This is driving me crazy! I love my man but I can’t seem to stop seeing this dude. I just don’t know what to do. I like him so much! What is your advice?
Dear Just Sprung,
Mamita, I know that great pinga is hard to come by but the fact of the matter is you gotta man and kids! And this guy you’re messing with also has kids! Think about it. What if you become pregnant by this man? This is some serious drama unfolding here.
I know your man is locked up and that has to be difficult for you, but messing with another guy will also confuse your kids, especially if they are very young. If they are older, they will resent you and disrespect you for betraying them by cheating on their father.
So, if you’re going to keep hooking up with this guy, do it free and clear. Leave your man and be done with it! Also, pick another dude! This guy could be a porn star in bed, but ultimately, he will break your heart. You said it yourself: he has no intention of leaving his wife and he uses you as a side piece. I mean, you’re getting yours too, but in the end you go home to an empty bed with a man in jail and another already involved with another woman.
My final piece of advice: break the cycle and end the liaison with this guy. It’s just not worth it
Now….Sujeiry, please help this sister out!
Gonzo, I’m going to try to help this sister out, cause boy does she need a hand! – Sujeiry
Dear Just Spring,
I understand how it feels to care about a guy so much that you allow your emotions to cloud your judgement. But I agree with Gonzo. This can become a potentially hostile situation filled with so much drama. I mean, the man in jail, the guy with the wife for 16 years, the number of kids reminiscent of “The Brady Bunch,” the amazing sex: it all reads like a Danielle Steele novel – chola style! I know you like him and the pene is AMAZING pero, chica, your life, sanity and family should be the priority.
I can’t imagine having to wait for a man who is in jail, but I have waited for a man to decide what he wants. Waiting is haaaard regardless of the circumstance and outcome. The point is this: if you love someone, you stand by them – faithfully. If you don’t love him enough to be faithful (and you didn’t mention your love for him at all), then, as Gonzo said, break it off.
And you do need to leave your bed-buddy-in-crime alone. He isn’t leaving his wife. He isn’t thrilled that you’re catching feelings. Stop being a masochist and leave him be! No matter how tender he is with you during sex, the fact of the matter is he is telling you he doesn’t want a relationship with you. His point is clear, so point your ass toward the exit door and go!
Love strongly and wisely,