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Silently Single: What It’s Like to Date an Introvert

Shy Woman Black and White
Flickr: Findingtheobviou.

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Silently Single: What It’s Like to Date an Introvert

Dating an introvert is like watching tortoises walk slowly toward their mate.

Dating an introvert is like watching tortoises walk slowly toward their mate. They mean business; it’s just that said business takes longer than, let’s say, a cheetah.

Introverts are the same. We are careful and cautious, but when we finally date we take the relationship seriously. And we rarely spill secrets of the ways of an introvert because, well, we’re introverts and rarely talk about situations that mortify us.

PLUS: How I Overcame Philemaphobia (Fear of Kissing)

Today, I am breaking my silence! Here’s what it’s really like to date an introvert:

Utter Shock

Shock Face

Holy moley! I’m on a date! That’s often the internal dialogue of an introvert. Once reality sets in an introvert will seem silently at ease. Only your introvert is probably imagining a bomb going off and that everyone will go flying into the air like confetti.

Those nerves exist because your introvert really likes you, but thinks he or she totally sucks at dating. They’re trying to keep their cool while hiding their uncoolness. Because that’s such an easy thing to do.

Daydreams of the Future

Daydreaming Ariel

My introverted friend went on date and immediately began to plan her future with said guy. I’m talking couple names like Bennfier and Brangelina. So, if you’re dating an introvert, prepare for a fairy tale romance (in their head).

You’re Worthy


The thing about introverts and dating is that they rarely give up their alone time. If they do, you must be worthy. They feel they’ve found a gem – you!

The Alone Time Itch

Need Alone Time

An introvert will want to tell their date they had a great time, but that they also really, REALLY need alone time. They may want to cut the date short and pick up where they left off another time. It doesn’t mean they aren’t into you. They just have to scratch their alone time itch.


waiting on the couch

I can promise you that introverts love sex as much as anyone, but we often have this need to wait and spend our nights alone. You know, to process what the hell just happened!

WATCH: Ask Sujeiry: Should I Dump the Shy Guy That I’m Dating?

Again, introverts are like tortoises. They get around to love and sex, it just takes them a while to meet you in the middle and do their freaky tortoise thing. You know the saying, “Slow and steady wins the race.” And we’re gonna win – eventually.

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Ashley is a California-based writer with a love for pop culture and all things nature. When she isn't soaking up the California sun, she's writing and working on her newest creative endeavor. A self-proclaimed introvert, she writes about loving yourself as a woman, finding the right person to love all aspects you, and how to cherish all the love that is received from friends and family.


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