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Confession of a Female Player: How to Play a Man Like A Man

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Confession of a Female Player: How to Play a Man Like A Man

Ever want to juggle men? Tabitha shares her story on how to be a playa.

Whether you’re a smoker, heavy drinker or emotional eater, everyone has a habit they would like to quit. Mine just happened to be men.

I didn’t set out to be player. I grew up in a small town outside of Philly. I had my first and only child three days after my 19th birthday. My relationship failed and I was forced to support myself and my baby. I have always been overly ambitious so I quickly worked my way from a customer service job to sales. After about two years I was asked to travel for work. That’s when my life changed. The entire world opened up in front of me.

PLUS: Why I’m Slowing Down Professionally

One week per month I traveled to various major cities: Los Angeles, San Diego, Chicago, Atlanta, Houston, Washington and D.C., just to name a few. I was staying in beautiful hotels and meeting many successful men. America became a buffet of men – all cultures, races and backgrounds. The thing with being a woman on the road is you don’t even have to be beautiful. What carries you through is charm, intelligence and a sense of humor.

Meeting men on the road also boosted my confidence. I was no longer the small town girl that got pregnant in high school. No one knew me. I even developed techniques to meet men and become a true player. Here’s how you can to.

Contact info for “business purposes.”

I attended a lot of conferences; it was my job to talk. I probably spoke to over 100 people per day as these events averaged 30,000 attendees. During the course of my day I got around three personal contacts. Multiply that by four days. That’s 12 new numbers per month on average!

How did I keep track of all these new men? I would program them on my phone by first name and either the state or country they lived in. If they were extremely hot, I would add the number 1 next to it or some other identifying tip. This would move them up in line if they wanted dinner or drinks during the business trip.

Become the Queen of Multitasking.

I was a master juggler of men. However, not all men were men of quality. So I factored in their looks, level of education and the potential of seeing them again if I did like them.

My evening would work like this: drinks with the average guy directly after meeting , dinner with the winner and then drinks with another guy who was just so-so. But only if dinner with the high-quality guy ended sooner than I had hoped. That’s three dates in one night. I told you I was a player.

Lie, lie, and lie some more. 

What if these men found out about my super packed date nights? Simple. I’d tell them I had a business meeting and that the other guy was a client. Yes, I lied constantly. I told every single man that I had “never done this before.” No one wants to think the girl they just met is a fucking piranha. My rational: men do it every single day.

Make the men feel like a million bucks.

And I mean all of them! Each guy I spent time with felt special even though some were more special than others. I made plans with them while on other trips. Some men I never saw again.

About the sex…

For me, being a player was never about the sex. It was about the attention and the surge of power that I felt when I had control over the CEO of a company or some other top-level executive. Being a female player is glamorous. You get free drinks, dinner, and sometimes even shopping sprees. It’s walking into the fanciest of restaurants with the CEO of a company on your arm, knowing damn well you don’t belong but pretending to anyway.

MORE: Confessions of a Popcorn Player: I’m On a Dating Hiatus

But, everything has a cost. I lost the love of my life because I was addicted to this thrill. I was addicted to all of the attention, the money and power. Now, I am completely reformed. I still travel but I am in my room by 9 p.m. What I desire has changed. Now, I want a man to wait for me when my plane touches down in Philly. Sometimes I wonder if karma has reared its ugly head. Maybe that’s why I am still single and go to sleep alone at night.

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Tabitha Bauman

Living in the suburbs of Philadelphia, Tabitha is a self-proclaimed free spirit who travels extensively throughout the USA. She has a bold writing style and offers her insight on love, dating and relationships on and She writers from her own experience as an independent woman exposed to the world of modern-day dating. Her goal is to enable women to value themselves above all else and find happiness in this great big world.


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