I consider myself to be a pretty open person. I try not to judge anothers relationship choices, even if I think it’s the wrong choice. If I’m not asked for relationship advice, I just don’t give it.
So imagine my shock when I gagged at a handful of sexual terms on Urban Dictionary. I am a progressive woman, but who would want a man to crap on their chest after sex? (Or any time for that matter.) And then have him sit on your crappy chest so he can rock back and forth like a steam roller? Why? Again, why?!
That’s called a Cleaveland Steamer, by the way. And it’s only one of many insane sexual acts that people enjoy. Brace yourselves! Here are 5 more odd sexual acts that I learned from Urban Dictionary.
If you watch “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,” you may remember the scene where uppity Heather Dubrow discovered the term, Dirty Sanchez. It’s when anal sex is performed and the man takes his pene and rubs it on the girls upper lip. Like a moustache. Yes, this happens. Aaaaaah!
So your man is on the toilet and he gets super horny. He calls you over and you give him a BJ – while he’s still on the toilet! This is a blumpkin folks. Yup.
The Flying Camel
If you think this sex act from Urban Dictionary is about humping (get it? Cause it’s a camel and it has a hump?) you’re wrong. It’s actually about acting like a camel? Let me try to explain. A woman lies on her back while the man is on his knees. He then props his body up (without using his arms and only using his cock) while he’s still inside your pepa. He then flaps his arms and howls like a camel. Wait. Has anyone ever seen a camel do this? They don’t even fly!
A jacuzzi can be fun for couples. Often times it is a place for sexy time. So this may be the inspiration for the Ballcuzi. You get a bowl of warm water and a straw. A man sits his balls in said bowl. You take the straw, place it in the bowl, and blow bubbles into the bowl, tickling his ever so sensitive cojones. It’s like playtime!
Kansas City Shakedown
This one sex act is especially wrong because in the end you get dumped! A man will sex you up and down in a Porta Potty (what is it with sex acts around poop?). When finished, he walks out and locks you in. It gets worse. He tips over the Porta Potty. So you literally get dumped on.
That’s about as gag-worthy as it gets.