Imagine reliving every crappy relationship, every awful decision, and every painful moment you’ve experienced in love. That’s what I am currently going through as I revamp my first book, Love Trips, for republishing. It’s been a goal of mine to do so for three years, as I want to add more stories and lessons to the book. Thing is, I kept distracting myself. I couldn’t face my love history because it’s so damn painful, embarrassing, and cathartic. Here’s one story.
It’s also a good thing to think about past choices. No dwelling, though; that’s not good for anyone. I mean reflecting on past relationships – what we loved about the person and their qualities, how we were treated, what we learned – and then asking ourselves, am I in the same unhealthy relationship? Is it a better relationship? Are my needs being met? Does my partner have the values and traits that my ex had that I loved? Am I repeating similar, hurtful patterns?
As I sift through this book, I am realizing the following:
1. I manifested a man with Boo’s traits (traits I gel with and traits I struggle with) by complaining about the traits of the men that I dated at the time. Lesson here: watch your tongue.
2. I wish I could take pieces of every man that I loved to create my (im)perfect match. Only I can’t. Lesson here: Move forward with a greater awareness of what you need to be fulfilled in love.
3. I’ve been through various emotional rollercoasters, yet I’ve somehow reinvented myself over and over again. Lesson here: Despite the hurt and relationship stumbles, you can stand strong and queenly.
So, take the last few weeks of 2018 to look back at your journey. Reflect on your past and your current romantic relationship (or situation) and ask yourself, is this enough? Because, my loves, we deserve a whole lot more than a love made up of fragmented memories.
Stay tuned for Love Trips (The Reboot) coming in 2019.