I’ve struggled with a lack mindset for most of my life. I can’t pinpoint when the first seeds were planted, but I assume my father’s abandonment played a hand. After Papi didn’t show up to pick us up and never contacted my family again, I made a subconscious decision to never leave myself open to pain again. That has transpired into running away from conflict and difficult situations that challenge my worth.
I don’t commit. If I did, that would mean my value could be potentially threatened.
That’s not to say that I run away from everything. I have to feel good enough about myself and what I am doing to stick with it. That’s the thing about a lack mindset, we stay where we are comfortable so as to not trigger our lack of self-worth.
Lack Mindset and Entrepreneurship
My lack mindset has even contributed to my fear of entrepreneurship. It’s crazy to think that. I worked for myself for 5 years as a freelance writer. However, I never fully committed to it. If a writing contract wasn’t renewed, I caved, believing that it had something to do with my talent as a writer, not the budget. My lack mindset would then kick in and I would think, I can’t be an entrepreneur. It’s too much work, I can’t handle it.
I also didn’t push myself hard enough to network and add editors to my rolodex. I remained in my Latinx media bubble because it was safe. When you’re an entrepreneur, it’s essential to meet new people in order to expand your base.
I also diminished my accomplishments by saying things like, “I am not successful,” and, “I haven’t accomplished anything.” As an entrepreneur, I constantly wavered while on my path and was unsure if I was worthy, smart, or savvy enough to solely depend on myself financially. I feared that I wouldn’t succeed and, in turn, I would go broke. Becoming a slave to the story of the little girl that was abandoned by her father, I often used phrases like, “I can’t,” “I won’t,” and “I’m stuck.”
Terrified of Failure
I am still terrified of failure and repeating the same old mistakes. This is all part of that old narrative. I turn away from my burning desire for entrepreneurship as a form of protection. When we start a business we’re often confronted with our insecurities. It’s a lot easier to stick with a day job that feeds our bank accounts. That’s been my life the past 5 years. But I am ready for a change. I am ready to plow ahead again as a boss.
As they dramatically say in telenovelas, “Estoy harta!” I am tired of making excuses, leaning into fear, and replaying that old story.
So, this is me shouting to the world, “It’s time to dump that lack mindset!” I am choosing to no longer be afraid and to live the life that I envision. One with spontaneous moments and unforgettable memories. A life where I tackle fear head on, am authentically myself wholeheartedly, and succeed in ways that I never thought possible at 12 years old.
I say to you, kid, we’re going to be okay. I promise. Just plant the seeds, show up as you are, and watch the world fall at your feet.